It was the hardest thing on Earth! Let myself die, let it hurt! After months of slowly dying, I found heaven in surrendering...
I wanted to get myself locked in a mad house
Take some pills, forget it all
Become somebody’s lab mouse
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But when I think of the pain
Still better than the fight deep inside
It’s like I’m watching my life flow
But without me, myself and I
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The biggest fear I have
To show my feminine side
To open my heart
To let me come out
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My faithful Falco stay with me
You’re my anchor, you’re my everything
---
You’re not just a dog
You’re God spelled backwards
You gave me a lot
Greatest teacher
---
I love you more than anything
Together forever
I know you love to travel
Vanlife Vol. II, just me and you
---
Coloured my eyes black
Shaved my face for the first time
It’s the biggest change I make
Being me when I walk out
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You may wanna spit on me
You may say I lost my mind
I’m just a human being honest
I’m just a soul free from the lie
---
I feel in touch with who I am
For the first time in my life
He’s slowly going away
I can finally take out the knife
---
It’s okay to be a man
It’s okay to be a woman
It’s okay to feel as neither
Everyone is just a human
---
No more looking to the past
The future me is being born
Everything all is crumbling
I see new ocean it is vast
---
In it I’m like a wave
In it I’m being whole
Let me say we’re all the same
One consciousness
One living globe
---
My nervous system healing
It’s like two people in one body
With one of us dying
And the other one rising
---
I used to be gay
I feared the word trans
Now I know why
I feared my own face
---
If you’re a man loving another man
And you see it like I did
I want you to know
I’m here for you
If you wanna share it
---
There’s space in my heart
For all the pieces of you
You learned to hide
To hide from your own truth
---
Now I’m free
Free for the first time
In my life, those daily fights
They are gone
Breaking chains
Let my soul breathe
Free from the pain
---
When I’m true to my own soul
I feel pain leaving my body
When I’m true to who I am
I feel lighter, I feel holy
---
Oh Lord now I see
Why all the doors were closed
That path of a man
Was never meant for my soul
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It was the hardest thing on Earth
Let myself die, let myself hurt
After months of slowly dying
I found heaven in surrendering
---
Breaking me open
Left me alone
In isolation
I found my crown
---
Mom, dear mom I’m sorry
I could not be the son
That you asked for
I tried hard many times
To make you proud
To hear you say
I don’t care who you are
I love you anyway
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We create an illusion
And we say that it’s the truth
But my friend are you sure
That the role is the real you
---
I hope that these words
I hope that they will find
All the open souls
All the broken hearts
---
Universal law I find
Was when I handed everything
When I said okay to pain
Yes to no more pretending
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Then I saw I was guided
The I felt I was held
Mysterious forces
I am that I am
---
And when I pray to God
Saying I wanna shine
I got the hardest time of my life
Cause He made sure
I got raw material
---
You can do the same
Asking for your own dream
But then don’t be scared
If it rains when you’re becoming
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What you’ve been praying for
Cause it’ll cost you a lot of pain
Everybody wants the dream
Not everybody wants to pay
---
First I thought
I will rise, I’ll have it all
But my love, I was wrong
What I needed was to fall
---
To be hurt, to be down
See the world upside down
Broken heart, feel the past
Wounds that made me hide
---
If we live in a system
Teaching not to feel the pain
Then we live in a system
That has lost its meaning
---
Born again
I’m not fighting my soul
My second birthday
My myself and I
Flower in bloom
My power lies in my truth
I feel my open heart
I love me in you
---
Everything is fine
All is well
What is meant for me
Will find me anyway
