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The Penis — The Rise and Fall of the Most Worshipped Part of the Male Body

Owning a penis in our society comes with plenty of privileges, but also with plenty of expectations. Most men see a penis several times a day — but only their own. For many, the only benchmark for size is porn, where the performers are professionals with first-class equipment, both in terms of their genitals and of the props they use. The real world looks nothing like a properly lit, cleverly shot and neatly edited porn film. Stressed by the fact that what they see on screen is far better than what they have in their trousers, men often forget the main thing: using their penis to give someone else pleasure.

Contents
  • How porn differs from real sex, and what is hot right now
  • How it looks on camera and how it really is
  • How our readers measure up
  • How years of watching porn affect your sex life
  • The boom in amateur porn videos
  • Gallery of Czech penises
  • Which penis is genuinely small, and when it only seems that way
  • How Czech men measure up
  • How men measure up elsewhere in the world
  • Gallery: the cult of the penis
  • Are you more of a grower or a shower?
  • Penis enlargement — the methods available today
  • A curve is fine, as long as it is not bent
  • How women see it
  • Gallery: “phallic” architecture
  • How to take proper care of your penis
  • Gallery of penis decoration
  • What to do when it has been up for three hours, and when the fun ends
  • The story of the porn actor with a reattached penis
  • How to get the Billiard Ball trim
  • Five steps to a happy penis
  • How to take a good dick selfie

Porn is entertainment, not an instruction video

We watch champions and want to be them

When Pornhub gave free premium accounts to the residents of the Czech village of Horní Police — read it out loud in English — the rest of the country quietly envied them. And no wonder. At least 58% of Czechs watch porn occasionally, according to last year’s survey by the daily Deník, which drew almost nine thousand readers. Erotic producer Jan Dudek estimates that 80% of Czech men and 30% of Czech women watch porn. A Kaspersky Lab survey found that Czechs put porn on four times a week on average. That adds up to a lot of viewing. And it is obvious that viewers then try to reproduce on-screen performances in their own bedrooms.

The trouble is, it is easy to forget that porn films do not show ordinary people — they show champions. If the average population starred in porn, Pornhub would not be getting 115 million visitors a day. It is the same as in sport: fourth-division matches do not draw big crowds. But while nobody gets depressed by Usain Bolt’s records just because they cannot outrun a bus, plenty of men compare themselves to the mighty performances of a well-endowed porn actor. What they lack is any sense of how other ordinary people like them actually perform in bed. And so, in bed, they place unrealistic expectations on themselves — and on their partner.

How it looks on camera and how it really is

A third of porn viewers are convinced their penis is tragically small. Another third are unhappy with their size. Research has shown that the more time men spend watching porn, the more critically they view their own equipment. (Interestingly, the same correlation does not hold for female viewers and satisfaction with their own breasts.) Forty per cent of men who come to clinics asking for penis enlargement got the idea from porn. Yet the vast majority of men fall comfortably within the healthy average range of 12 to 15 cm when erect. And Czechs in particular have nothing to worry about. Our country has given the world the third-largest number of porn stars, right behind the USA and Russia. The prestigious gay porn studio Bel Ami sources most of its beauties from the Czech Republic and Slovakia. With a little exaggeration, you could say there are 70 porn actors and actresses per million inhabitants here. That says something, no?

The porn industry, though, is not a career for just anyone. It is built on hard performance, which is literally true for the men. They are required to get an instant erection, last a long time, and ejaculate on cue and with force. The actor is assigned his partner, and men can appear in both gay and straight porn. Condoms are usually not used in straight films; gay films do somewhat better. An eight-minute scene can easily take four hours to shoot. Meanwhile, sex between ordinary people lasts two to eight minutes on average. Pornhub reveals how Czechs do on that front too: the average Czech viewer lasts 7 minutes 56 seconds.

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