"I don't want children. And my family sees it as a betrayal," says 30-year-old Ondřej, who describes his reasons why parenthood was never a natural choice for him
"I don't want children. And what hurts me the most is that my family sees this as a betrayal," Ondřej, 30, says as we sit in a small café in the center of Prague.
A year ago, he first uttered this sentence aloud at home over Sunday lunch. "My mother was silent for so long that I thought she didn't understand me. And then she just said, ' You've got to be kidding.' Dad got up from the table, sort of like I was being selfish. It was the first time I realized that this wasn't just my thing, that it was like some kind of betrayal in their eyes."
I first got in touch with Andrew after a social media appeal looking for people who had chosen to live without children and were willing to talk openly about it. There were more responses than I expected. The responses were mainly from people in their twenties and forties, who agreed that their decision was often misunderstood.
In recent years, the topic of voluntary childlessness has come up more and more often as a topic in articles and in casual conversations among younger generations. It is not a single reason or trend with a clear definition. Rather, what is common is that people are beginning to talk about a decision that was previously considered too personal or controversial. That was the reason I wanted to look at one particular story and show how a similar decision actually comes about and what reactions it provokes.
How he made it clear to himself
Andrew doesn't talk about a single moment when he realized he didn't want children. He considers it a process that gradually consisted of feelings and thinking. "I've always had people around me who thought of parenthood as the next natural stage. But for me, there was no such thing. It wasn't about resistance or fear. I just didn't see the inner drive."
When he imagined his future, he saw more of a job, friends, travel or a partner. "I didn't see it as a lack. Just as a different way to organize my life. When I imagined myself as a father, it didn't mean anything to me."
Family reaction
The biggest problem, however, was not him, but how the decision was received by the family. "My mother told me after a few days that she took it as a defeat. I didn't understand. After all, it was my decision, which doesn't take anything away from our relationship." According to Ondrej, the family holds on to expectations that come from generations before them. "They were used to just having kids. There was no question of why. It was more about when."
After some time, the situation has calmed down, though the topic is still up in the air. "It's not escalated anymore, but sometimes you can feel the tension. Dad is silent. Mom sometimes asks if I've changed my mind. I explain that I haven't, and that's the end of it."
How others react
At work or among friends, he encounters different reactions. Some respect it, others don't get it. "A friend recently asked me if I was afraid of being alone in my old age. It surprised me how quickly people go from personal decisions to dramatic scenarios." He reflects that many people see children as a security one has for the future rather than an expression of desire.
At the same time, she knows that there are more and more people who doubt or reject parenthood. They talk about economic insecurity, climate or pressure to perform, but sometimes it's just a simple fact - not everyone feels the need to raise a child. "It's strange that if you don't want a child, you often have to have an explanation ready. People assume there's some trauma, selfishness or grand plan behind it. For me, there's nothing like that."
Inner relief
When Andrew talks about it, he seems more confident than he did a year ago. "Once I admitted it and said it out loud, I felt rather relieved. I didn't have to pretend that I was waiting for the right moment or that I was still deciding."
He feels he has lived more consistently since then. "I don't explain why I'm like this anymore. I'm just stating it as a fact. And it's growing in me that you don't have to justify everything to be considered valid."
When Andrew says goodbye, he seems composed. He doesn't say he expects or seeks a change in his parents' attitude. Rather, he has learned to accept that some differences in outlook on life will remain.
"I have no need to prove anything. It's enough that I understand my decision," he says finally.
His story shows that voluntary childlessness need not be the result of rebellion or a rejection of traditional values. For many people, it is simply a realistic and thoughtful choice that deserves the same recognition and respect as any other life path.
