5 myths about non-binary people that someone still believes (and shouldn't)
Debates about gender and sex are often fraught with misunderstandings. Gender is the biological set of traits that a person is born with (for example, genes, hormones, or physical characteristics), while gender identity is the internal experience of who a person is - and it does not necessarily correspond to the sex assigned at birth. This is where confusion and prejudice often arise, especially when it comes to non-binary identities. These are still a taboo subject for many people, who are afraid to talk about or ask questions. And while some of the stereotypes stem from outright hatred, most are simply the result of ignorance. This article therefore provides an overview of the five most common myths about non-binary people - and why it's high time to leave them behind.
❌ Myth #1: Non-binary identity is the "third gender"
One of the most widely held ideas: if someone is neither male nor female, they are a "third gender." But the reality is much more varied.
"Non-binary" literally means "beyond two" - but not as one specific third place. It's an umbrella term for a wide range of gender identities that don't fit into the binary system. Some people have a fluid gender, others identify differently at different stages of life, and still others have their own unique definitions of who they are.
Simply put: non-binary ≠ third category. It's a spectrum, not a column in a table.
❌ Myth #2: I must first understand, then respect
A common argument is, "I don't understand, so I can't address you the way you want."
You don't have to know all the gender theories to give someone basic human respect. You just need to accept how the person wants to be addressed and what pronouns they use. Explaining identity should never be a necessary ticket to respect.
❌ Myth #3: All non-binary people use the pronouns they/it
Yes, many non-binary people use they/them pronouns, but far from all.
Pronouns are not the same as gender. Some non-binary people use pronoun combinations (e.g. she/they), others use pronouns commonly associated with binary genders - and they are still non-binary.
The simplest rule is simple: ask and respect the answer. Don't try to "guess" who the person is by their pronouns.
❌ Myth #4: Non-binary = transgender
These two terms are often confused or used interchangeably - even on official forms. But they are not identical.
Some non-binary people also identify as trans, others do not. Similarly, there are trans people who identify with a binary gender (e.g. trans man or trans woman).
Overlap exists, but is not the rule. Everyone chooses the language and labels that best fit them - and it is not for us to decide what is "right".
❌ Myth 5: Non-binary identity is new
"It's trendy now." "It wasn't before." Non-binary people hear this phrase all the time. But the opposite is true.
Gender as a concept is a social construct - and it has looked very different in different cultures and eras. Historically, there were many societies that recognized more than two genders, and non-binary identities were around long before the current debates.
What's new is more our language and willingness to talk about these identities out loud. Non-binary people have always been around. They just didn't have the space - or the safety - to tell the world before.
Non-binary identity is not a curiosity or a trend. It's a real and varied part of the human experience. The more we know about it, the more natural and respected it becomes.
And if you're not sure how to reach someone or what a term means - ask. Genuine curiosity with respect is always better than silence backed by prejudice.
