Have you ever been strangled during sex? Across Generation Z, rough and dangerous sex is becoming the norm. It's also said to be due to the constant downplaying of violence against women
The scary language of numbers
According to a 2020 probability survey of Americans aged 18-60, more than 20% of women have experienced choking during sex. And one-fifth of men also reported choking their counterpart during sex. The survey also concluded that the practice is most prevalent among people aged 18-29. Some might want to wave their hands at one survey, but these findings are supported by other studies...
According to other research, nearly 60% of American college students have experienced choking during sex. And apparently, sex is simply becoming more aggressive. In Britain, another survey has documented that more than 70% of men slap, choke or spit on their partners during consensual sex. However, it should be stressed that although sex itself is consensual, the same cannot be said for what else goes on during it. No wonder, then, that another survey conducted by the BBC found that up to a third of men who engage in "rough sex" somehow don't feel the need to ask their partner what will happen in bed. Yes, indeed - sexual smothering is apparently so common that many young people believe they don't even need their sexual partner's consent to do it...
Let's strangle and choke
Although the term "choking" is often used in connection with a rather aggressive practice during sex, it is actually strangulation. The pressure around the neck interrupts the blood flow, leading to a congested brain and feelings of dizziness due to a decrease in oxygen levels and an increase in carbon dioxide. And it's supposedly (for some) arousing. After all, some women are convinced of this as well, and in their opinion, they find the manifested male power very erotic. However, these women are still significantly fewer in number than men. In fact, as research among American college students has also shown, many women, even if they agree to choking, do so not for their own pleasure, but because they think it arouses their partner.
Zdroj: Giphy
A failure of the system?
Despite the fact that choking (or strangulation) during sex can be an unsuspected experience for some, experts warn that there is essentially no way to perform it safely. This is especially true given the fact that it's a practice that's become so widespread over time that many people take it for granted as a normal part of sexual activity. However, it is also necessary to stress what has already been suggested. That is, that sexual smothering is primarily a trend among young people, specifically members of Generation Z. "You certainly don't see a large number of people in their 40s choking during sex, or engaging in some kind of rough sex, which is quite common among younger people today," is how researcher Debby Herbenick, who studies the issue, summed it up. "A lot of the young people we interviewed just don't see choking as a problem," she added, adding that according to Generation Z, choking during sex is pretty much completely mainstream behaviour.
The implications?
But while it would seem that, even given the growing acceptance of choking during sex, the practice would therefore probably be "okay", experts warn that the risks of choking are very real. All it takes is a slight misjudgement, a miscalculation of timing or a bad hold and the person(s) being choked can sustain serious injuries. Not to mention the risk of death. "Doctors, as well as all those in the sex education field, will tell you unequivocally that there is in fact no safe breath play," warns psychologist and sexual relations expert Antonia Hall. "Choking can trigger an immediate physiological and psychological reaction in your body to a situation where someone suddenly grabs you by the throat. This creates a 'fight or flight' response in the nervous system," she said, adding that this reaction is what it is supposedly all about - a state where the whole body senses danger.
And where did the idea of incorporating choking/strangulation into normal sex come from? Most of the time, this "epidemic of non-consensual sexual violence" is attributed to pornography and its excessive availability. Although of course the idea of regulating porn viewing is really "out there" for adults, e.g. in Britain Pornhub has a higher viewer base than BBC News. "Sex education that focuses only on sexual abstinence fails to equip today's young people with the necessary knowledge to cope with today's complex - and sometimes experimental - sexual relationships," thus thinks Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, who focuses on the issue of the concept of current sex education. Of course, she says, education alone, and by extension the entire education system, cannot bring about much change, especially in an environment where violence against women is still commonly portrayed in the media and often downplayed...
