More people's relationships are beginning to receive formal recognition. Polyamorous cohabitation is stronger and more caregivers benefit the children as well
Traditional and natural monogamy?
Although it might seem that humanity has been clear about romantic relationships for millennia and that monogamy is in fact the "traditional model", the fact is that history speaks a little differently. Marriage as an institution does indeed have roots in the ancient past, but it was not really about romantic relationships, as it had more of an economic purpose. It is also true that, looking globally at the history of humanity, monogamy was not exactly the preferred form of intimacy; on the contrary, it was quite common for relationships to take the form we now refer to as 'polyamorous'.
Polyamory vs. polygamy
So, of course, today's polyamory differs from its predecessor, more commonly referred to as polygamy, in a number of ways. In the first place, polygamy actually envisages that one officially has multiple partners, or significantly more often, female partners. In fact, it is the gender imbalance that characterizes polygamy in the first place, so that the vast majority of historical cases involved men having multiple wives (whereas situations where women had multiple husbands were essentially forbidden). Even so, scientists are convinced that monogamous relationships arose at a similar time to agriculture, essentially as a conscious evolutionary advantage. This is because monogamous relationships reduce (or outright eliminate) the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases, ensure the continuation of the lineage, and therefore increase family wealth and protect offspring.
Polygamy in practice
If we were to give specific examples of polygamy in practice, this partnership arrangement was common in ancient Mesopotamia, for example. Although classical marriage was already an established practice at this time, the Code of Hammurabi allowed polygamy. However, with essentially the same aim as marriage, i.e. procreation. In fact, according to the norm, men could marry a second wife if they failed to produce offspring with the first wife. A specific type of polygamy was the cohabitation of women by one man in harems, which was common in ancient Greece, Rome, China, etc. Polygamy is also recognized by traditional Islam, although its practice is no longer widespread, and is also practiced by some Mormons.
While polygamy is not accepted in the modern world, polyamory is becoming a trend. It involves loving relationships between multiple people, and there are usually some "relationship rules" between them. However, it should be emphasized that this type of relationship is not open (i.e., it does not involve casual sexual partners); those who live in it have similar relationships to each other as people who live in monogamy. It is no coincidence, then, that polyamory is also referred to by many as "ethical non-monogamy". Regardless of the specific label used, however, this type of relationship began to gain popularity around 2010, thanks in part to the increasing opportunities for dating and not least to an increasingly open society. According to Santa Clara University philosophy professor Justin Clardy, who has written a book on polyamory, polyamorous relationships have a number of advantages.
Zdroj: Giphy
Polyamory as an advantage?
"In many cases, polyamorous relationships are more durable than monogamous ones, because their flexibility allows them to meet the changing needs of those involved, which monogamous relationships do not allow to that extent," Clardy believes. In his view, then, the view of monogamy as the "natural order of things" is mistaken. Polyamory also offers a number of advantages in the case of family life. "In the past, entire villages were involved in raising a child. This is not necessary today, but it is logical that if a child has more than one father or mother as caregiver, his or her needs can be better met," he even summarized, adding that in the end the existence of more than two traditional caregivers might even prove superior to the traditional parental arrangement.
Despite the many potential benefits, however, polyamorous relationships are not always viewed in a positive light. "People who live in polyamory, for example, face the risk of being fired from their jobs, denied housing, having their children taken away from them because of their family arrangement, and so on," Clardy believes.
And all the possible risks are already becoming apparent to some. So in July 2020, the city council of the US city of Somerville voted unanimously to be the first in the world to recognise polyamorous partnerships. Why? The coronavirus pandemic has shown that it is those in polyamorous relationships who could run into problems in hospitals, for example - because they might not be allowed to see their partner(s). And, as it happens, examples do follow, so recently a neighbouring city, Cambridge, took the same step.
So, while multiple partners may seem odd to some today, it is not new - just as shared childcare is. Moreover, the arrangement may have its advantages. So there is certainly no reason to condemn this lifestyle out of hand.
