“Do you have Grindr? And can I have a look at it?” Seventeen stories from people who decided to share their worst experiences with the dating app
BuzzFeed.com is teeming with people sharing their experiences of online dating. As some of these are real gems, we’ve decided to translate a few of them for you:
1. Auction
“I got a message from a bloke asking if he could pick my nose for twenty dollars. I blocked him after he offered me three hundred dollars for a thumbnail.”
2. Condom Model
“I spotted an extremely sexy bloke in my area. He claimed he was working out and modelling for a men’s clothing brand. The clothing brand he was working for turned out to be Trojan condoms.”
3. Ejaculating to music
“I visited a random bloke I’d met on Grindr at his place. He had dolls in glass display cabinets all over the house – including the bedroom. After he’d led me in there, he spent 30 minutes putting together a playlist for us to have sex to. The music was the best part of the whole experience. I came to ‘MMMBop’ by Hanson.”
4. Mum
“I’d been chatting to a lad on Grindr for a few weeks before we met up. I really fancied him, so we decided to book a hotel room and sleep together. We carried on texting for a few days after that, when he told me he knew my mum. When I asked my mum if she knew him, she laughed and said, ‘Yeah , that’s the guy I lost my virginity to!’”
5. A medical emergency
“Once I was with a lad who was ill. We had to stop when he announced that his appendix had burst.”
6. Famous cousin
“I decided to meet up with a lad. So I went to pick him up. He looked exactly like he did in the photos and was extremely attractive. When we arrived at the casino, he started demanding a security escort, because he claimed to be Justin Bieber’s cousin and was worried that the paparazzi and fans would bother him. We walked around the hotel for about twenty minutes, bodyguards and all, before the manager asked us to leave.”
7. Time off
“I met a lovely lad. We went for dinner and had a great time. Things got a bit complicated when he sent me a text saying: ‘Thanks ! Now my wife can have the night off!’”
8. ACreepy Stalker
“A lad messaged me saying he fancied me and was glad I was his neighbour. I ignored it, so he started sending me photos he’d taken of me: in bars, saunas and the gym. After a few days, he started sending me messages like: ‘You’ve got a nice T-shirt on today’, ‘Enjoy the treadmill today!’ or ‘I really liked that restaurant you tried today.’ It made me so uncomfortable that I decided to delete Grindr altogether.
9. The fifth time’s the charm
“I went to the Avengers premiere with a lad who’d brought his ex along, because apparently he really wanted to see the film too. To top it all off, I paid for all three tickets.”
10. Nail-biter
“A lad I’d met took me out for pizza and a beer. Whilst we were waiting for our food, he was biting his nails. Five minutes later, he grabbed my hand and said, ‘You’ve gotreally nice nails!’ Then he added: ‘Would you mindif I bit them?’ When I refused, he thought I was stringing him along and said: ‘Oh, so you want to wait until we get home. Then I can bite your toenails too.’“
Zdroj: Giphy
11. Memory loss
“Once I had a really bad cold, but that didn’t dampen my penis’s desires, so I swallowed some medicine and logged onto Grindr. As I’d also been drinking, I passed out. When I came round, I was suddenly at some bloke’s place and he was asking me to leave. I never saw him again, but I’ve got a lovely selfie with the Uber driver.”
12. Amate
“He turned up with his boyfriend (I didn’t know he was in a relationship) and told me to act as if we were just mates in front of him.”
13. Charity
“I went on a date with a lad from Grindr. He was hungry, so he persuaded me to buy him something. He chose an extremely expensive place, didn’t even let me have a taste, and when the woman at the till asked if we wanted to add something to the bill for charity, he answered ‘yes’ for me.”
14. Returning the saucepan
“I’d recently become single and was messaging a lad. He offered to come round to my place to cook dinner, so I invited him over. There were plenty of leftovers, so I gave him a saucepan of macaroni and cheese – which he’d cooked – to take home. A few days later, he messaged me to say he was getting back together with his ex and that he’d wanted to send me my casserole back, but couldn’t afford the postage. I told him he could leave it by my front door. Three months later, I came home and found my casserole dish by the door. It was still dirty from our mac and cheese.”
15. ATrip to Hell
“I was on my first Grindr date. His profile said he was 19, but it turned out he was a 45-year-old married man. He told me to give up my bi lifestyle, or I’d go to hell.”
16. AQuick End
“I was messaging a lad on Grindr. Things were going well, so we swapped numbers. A few days later, he came round to my place and we watched a film and had a bit of a fling. I couldn’t believe how well we clicked. A week later, we went on a second date, where, after a few hours, he told me he had a boyfriend. He said he really liked me, but that we should stop talking.”
17. The worst date ever
“We met in a café. We had a few awkward, silent moments, even though we were in a busy Starbucks. So we both ended up on our phones. I was checking my fantasy football scores when I noticed that the lad had just posted a photo of me on Instagram, captioned: ‘Worstdate ever’. I went to the loo, and when I came back, he turned to me and asked, ‘Shall wefinally go backto your place and have a proper sh*t?’”
