"My partner has HIV, but thanks to modern treatment he can't infect me," says a man who shows that living with the virus has long been a topic we are still afraid to talk about, not a threat
Morning in their apartment looks like any other household. Martin is having coffee, Tomas is reading the news. There are pills on the table, a small daily reminder that one of them is living with HIV. "It's part of my life, but it doesn't define me in any way," Martin says calmly. "I take my medication, I go to work, I play sports, I have a relationship. Nothing more, nothing less."
Martin is thirty-five and has been living with an HIV diagnosis for seven years. His partner, Tomas, knew about it from the start. "He told me very early on," Tomas recalls. "He was nervous, he was afraid he was going to lose me. But it wasn't crucial for me. What was important was that he was responsible, that he was getting treatment. I trusted him from the first moment."
Today, they have lived together for five years and talk openly about HIV, at least among those close to him. "We are not the kind of people who would hide it at all costs," says Tomas. "But we also know that society isn't quite ready for it yet. You don't want to explain every time that your partner can't infect you because they're on medication. People hear the word HIV all the time and the warning light goes on in their heads."
HIV is not a death sentence today
Martin takes one pill a day. The treatment his doctors have set him on reduces the amount of the virus in his body to such a low level that it is undetectable by routine lab tests. This condition is known as an undetectable viral load and means that a person with HIV cannot pass the virus on, even through unprotected sex.
"This has been scientifically confirmed for many years. If someone has an unproven viral load thanks to treatment, transmission is impossible," explains Martin. "Yet many people find it hard to accept. Maybe because HIV still has the aftertaste of the 1990s in their heads, when it meant certain death."
The principle of U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable) has become the basis of modern approaches to HIV treatment and prevention. It allows HIV-positive people to live perfectly normal lives, raise families and have healthy children. "When I first heard this, I was shocked," admits Tomas. "I didn't understand how it wasn't talked about so much. That most people are still living in 30-year-old fantasies."
Trust instead of fear
For both men, it was crucial that they talked about HIV right from the start. "It wasn't an easy conversation," Martin recalls. "Telling someone you love that you are living with HIV is not easy. I had my arguments ready, I wanted to explain the medicine, the facts, the studies... But Tomas stopped me and just said: ' I believe you.' That was probably the biggest relief in my life."
Tomas adds that a relationship with an HIV-positive partner is no different than any other relationship. "You're not dealing with the virus, you're dealing with normal things - work, holidays, who forgot to take out the rubbish. HIV is not the topic of the day, you just know he's on medication. And that's the end of it."
Both talk about how trust was the key to making their relationship work. "Maybe because of that we had to be more open, more honest. If you can talk about the things people are afraid of, you can talk about anything," Martin says.
Invisible stigma
Although HIV is under control thanks to modern medicine, societal perceptions are often stuck in the past. "The stigma is still huge," says Martin. "Just read the comments under any article about HIV and people are clear: you're on your own. But the reality is different. HIV is not just about one group of people, it says nothing about character or morals."
Fears of prejudice are why many people with HIV live in secrecy. "You're afraid that someone will judge you, that they'll stop taking you seriously. It's not about health, it's about the view of others," adds Tomas. "We are lucky enough to live in an environment where we can talk about it. But not everyone has that."
Experts say stigma complicates not only the personal lives of people living with HIV, but also prevention itself. "As long as we are afraid to talk about HIV, people will be afraid to get tested," Martin says. "And that's a paradox, because today we have the tools to stop the virus altogether."
A virus that has lost its power
HIV is no longer a disease that takes a person's life. Thanks to antiretroviral treatment, it has turned into a chronic but manageable condition. People who are treated have the same life expectancy and quality of life as anyone else. Despite this, HIV continues to be talked about in hushed tones - and often silenced even where there should be a voice of understanding.
"What scares people the most is not the virus, but ignorance," says Tomas. "When I explain to someone that Martin can't infect anyone, they are usually taken aback. And then silence follows. It's as if they suddenly realise that their fear was completely unnecessary."
Martin stresses that treatment is only one part of the story. "What we need is openness. For HIV not to be a taboo, for people to know that living with HIV means living normally. That it's not just about the past, but the present, and that talking about it is not weakness, but strength."
The end of fear, the beginning of acceptance
When she talks about her relationship, she comes across as calm and natural. It's not about any grand proclamations, but rather an understanding that comes with time. "The virus is long gone between us," Martin says. "It's just left in the papers and in the fact that I take my medicine every day. But our life goes on like anyone else's."
Thomas adds, "Of course, HIV is still a serious disease. It just doesn't mean the end of a life or a relationship anymore. With treatment, it's something you can live with, but people still see it as something dangerous. And that's a shame. Fear should be replaced by respect and understanding, not prejudice."
What does an unproven viral load mean and the U=U principle
Thanks to antiretroviral treatment, medicine can suppress the amount of HIV in the body to such a low level that it is undetectable by conventional laboratory tests. This condition is called an undetectable viral load. A person with an unproven viral load cannot pass on HIV - even through sexual contact. This principle is summed up in the internationally accepted motto U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable), or Undetectable = Untransmittable.
It is important to add, however, that although modern treatments can effectively suppress the virus and allow a full life without restrictions, HIV is still an incurable disease. Treatment must be lifelong and interruption of treatment can lead to a resurgence of viral load. Therefore, prevention and protection during sexual intercourse remains essential , whether in the form of condom use, regular testing, or the use of pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP).
