"I love men, but I sleep with women too. And it's not a phase," says Martin, who identifies as bisexual
"You're either gay or straight. Make up your mind," Martin has been hearing in different variations since he was a teenager. Today he is 30, works in the creative industry and openly says he is bi. "I love men, but I also sleep with women. And it's not a phase," he stresses. For him, bisexuality is not only a personal experience, but also a way to break down the entrenched stereotypes that still cling around it.
Invisibility between two worlds
Bisexual people often face double marginalisation - from the straight majority and within the LGBT+ community. "I felt like no one took me seriously. To gay people I was actually straight, and to straight people I came across as gay again. I often felt like I didn't quite belong anywhere," says Martin.
Although surveys show that bisexual orientation is not at all rare, stories of bisexual people appear only minimally in the public space. "It's a bit ironic. We're not few, but we're hardly talked about. It's as if people are afraid that we will disrupt their simple model of two genders, two orientations," she says.
"I'm not indecisive, I'm not confused."
One of the most common stereotypes is the idea that bisexuality is just a "way station" on the road to gay identity. Martin is clear: "How many times have I heard: 'It will pass, wait until you settle down.' I am stable in my identity, I know who I am and what I want. And I don't feel the need to pick just one side."
Another common myth? Bisexual people supposedly can't be faithful. "That's so absurd. Orientation has nothing to do with fidelity. I can be monogamous, just like anyone else. Only my attraction is not limited to one gender. That's it," he explains.
Partnership without limits
Martin has had relationships with both men and women. He sees both as enriching experiences. "When I was in a relationship with a woman, people took it as a return to normalcy. When I was dating a man, I again felt that I was automatically categorized as gay by those around me. It's exhausting. I love people, but I hate labels," he says.
He makes no secret of the fact that his primary emotional attraction is currently towards men. "I love men, their bodies and their energy, but I'm still attracted to women. Sex is a space for me where I don't want boundaries. And that doesn't mean I'm promiscuous. I'm just open-minded."
Bisexual identity as an attitude
For him, bisexuality is also a form of resistance to a rigid system that forces people to make easy choices. "If you say you're bi, people get nervous. Suddenly you're not easily classifiable. And that's the beauty of it. It shows that the world is not black and white. Not love, not desire, not identity," Martin says.
According to him, bisexuality should be seen as an equal and valid orientation. "I'm tired of having to prove to someone that I exist. I'm not an experiment, I'm not confused, I'm not half. I am whole - and my attraction is just a part of me," he says.
A company on the move
The situation is slowly changing, he says. More and more young people today are openly saying they don't feel tied to just one gender. "Generation Z has a huge freedom in this. They don't care so much if someone is gay or straight. They just love people. I grew up in a time when it was harder, but it still taught me not to be afraid to go against the flow," he concludes.
