On (lack of) hope in times of uncertainty: "Pain arises when we try to make the temporary permanent," says Pavel Špatenka
Excerpt from the pen of Pavel Špatenka: SPIRITUAL MOTHERING OR HOW A "SENSITIVE" MAN BECOMES A VIOLENCE APOLOGIST
Now we look at the spiritual man, the thoughtful, outwardly sensitive man. But inside? At his core, he carries the same victim psychology, fully sympathetic to the aggressor. And though he appears to be a contemplative peacemaker, he is actually silent, excusing and rationalizing the violence while his soul crumbles under the weight of alibis. And that's why he deserves a mirror now.
You know him. The man with the calm voice, with his eyes fixed somewhere far beyond the horizon of history.
Sitting on a cushion,
talking about karma,
about the deeper implications.
He's not judging, just "perceiving".
He's not for war - no way.
But he understands why it happened.
"You know, it had to happen somehow. NATO was expanding, the West was provoking. Everything has a cause..."
And you doubt for a moment. Because it sounds wise.
Non-offensive.
Balanced.
But then you realize what he's actually saying.
[...]
STERILIZED COWARDICE DISGUISED AS BALANCE.
"I get it from both sides." There's no virtue in being silent to pain.
These men hate conflict so much.
They have deep thoughts and often look at the ground when someone asks what they think about killing.
They prefer to talk about duality, transcendent unity. The roots of war.
But the child who is dying is not hearing mantras.
It's just bleeding quietly while the spiritual man contemplates,
WHETHER IT'S NOT ALSO TO BLAME.
"Insidious is the part of a man that would rather contemplate why the wolf eats the sheep than set his own teeth on it."
[...]
You're not silent for peace, but because you're afraid to speak up:
"This is wrong."
And until you say that to yourself, you're not spiritual. You're an accomplice.
You just stopped wearing armor - and started wearing incense.
You want peace? Okay, fine.
But know that peace built on blood and silence is just funeral silence.
And that one day, when someone asks you, "Where were you when it started?"
all you'll be able to say is:
"In myself."
AND NOTHING.
All that's left is stale pride.
---
* Editorially abbreviated. More on Pavel Špatenka's FB profile .
INTERVIEW
Today's times bring great uncertainties. In your texts you warn against indifference or silence - sterilized cowardice disguised as balance. Where, on the other hand, do you see sparks of hope? What strengthens your faith in humanity?
I see it in everyone who does not harden in spite of the pain. In people who don't abdicate responsibility, even when the outcome is not guaranteed. In therapy rooms, where someone finally says "This hurts!" and starts looking not for the culprit, but for the real cause.
I see hope in our ability to grow. In the moments when one stops asking just "What happened to me?" and starts asking "How am I treating myself?" For me, faith in humanity comes not from illusions of perfection, but from the knowledge that despite all our shadows, there is still a light born within us and a desire to not remain blind.
And is it possible to overdo it with hope? Is it sometimes better to give it up? Is false hope really just a dangerous delusion?
Yes, hope is an illusion - unless it is grounded in reality. If it is based purely on expectations, it becomes a trap. False hope is like a bridge stretched into the void. Sooner or later it falls - and one falls with it.
Real hope is not afraid of the dark. It does not banish pain, but seeks the light that penetrates it. It is not a plan. It's not "It'll all work out!" It's an inner decision not to lose sight of the meaning, even if we can't see the result. And it is the loss of false hope that is often the first step to true being.
From a psychological point of view - what happens in a person who finds himself in hopelessness, regardless of whether the situation is really hopeless or whether he "only" perceives it as such? How does the body and mind react?
The body and mind react to hopelessness as a threat to life. First the nervous system is activated: fight or flight. When there's nowhere to go, you freeze. One loses the sense of choice. He disconnects from himself, stops believing that there is any "further".
The brain stops looking for solutions. The body is alert, but the soul withdraws. Psychologically speaking, hopelessness paralyzes. Not because there is no way out, but because the mind has come to believe there is no way out.
Why is uncertainty often so unsatisfying? Do you think it's "just a point of view"? This issue of LUI talks about hope. In layman's terms, I think that the premise of believing in a better tomorrow is precisely the changeability - even of the bad...
It's not just a point of view. Unsatisfactoriness is a fact - it comes from the very nature of existence. And yet therein lies the paradoxical key. What troubles us is also what can set us free. Not by changing it, but by discovering a different attitude towards it.
Suffering is not given forever - and that is what hope is. Pain arises the moment we try to make the temporary permanent. When we want to appropriate happiness. When we try to erase pain. But life cannot be tamed.
Hope is not believing in a rosy ending. It means accepting impermanence as a fact - and still living meaningfully. Not by bypassing pain, but by facing it openly.
Is there anything we can recommend to those who might just be relieved by hope? What can they do in their situation? How can they deal with the mind in a practical way?
Start where you are. Not where you want to be. Even hopelessness is a state of mind - it is not an absolute reality. When you realize this, the first crack in the wall appears. Don't take your thoughts as facts. Notice what's going on inside you. Develop attention to your perceptions. Trust what you feel.
It also helps to be present. Breathe slowly. Feel your body. Call someone close to you. Don't run into the future or the past. Ask, "What can I do right now, even if it's small?"
Hope doesn't start with big visions, but with small actions that give direction. Sometimes you just have to hang in there and continue to understand yourself. And remember: even the silence in which you notice and feel is the soil where new beginnings sprout.
Psychotherapist Pavel Špatenka, MD (*1964) graduated from the Faculty of Medicine of Charles University in Prague. Since the turn of the millennium he has been dedicated to self-discovery with the aim of deep understanding and transformation.
