"Calling is as disgusting to me as rubbing Styrofoam," says Eliška, who is affected by telephone phobia
The first question is logical. When was the moment of realization that your reluctance to make a phone call is actually resistance and fear?
It was sometime at the end of elementary school in ninth grade. I don't remember the exact moment, but I do remember some of my classmates laughing at me for not calling anyone, just texting. I'm the type who would rather text you twenty messages than call you for two minutes. It's ten years ago, so I don't think video calling has completely taken off yet, which I'm really grateful for. And sometime this spring, I realized that maybe there was something to it, that I was probably really a little weird. I figured that just imagining talking to someone on the phone would make my forehead furrow and make me shiver slightly. But I didn't care, because not calling didn't bother me in my everyday life.
Do you think that telephobia is a serious diagnosis that does not fit into modern times, or is it a normal reaction of the body to the state of our society, in which conditions can be created for us not to have to communicate with anyone at all?
The diagnosis sounds quite dramatic to me, but I don't see my condition that way at all. Moreover, I get a classic phone call at most ten times a year anyway, and only from people of my choice and a few public institutions, so my condition does not limit me so much that anyone could consider it a disease. Personally, I think it's a perfectly normal reaction of a body that's built to communicate live face to face. That's the only way the dialogue is complete.
I don't really acknowledge these modern day phobias because I find it unnecessary for doctors or psychologists to deal with it. What does that solve? Will I be happier in life if I can talk to people for six hours and never once see their real emotions in the process? Totally pointless.
How is the average person supposed to understandthis "diagnosis" ? What specifically are you afraid of, anxious about, or feeling bad about? What do you think is the worst that can happen through a call?
It's quite simple. When I have to pick up a call or, on the contrary, call someone, my stomach rises slightly. I'm just not comfortable with it, like a person with severe stage fright. With the numbers I have stored, it's a bit better, I can imagine the person, I know their natural tone of voice. When it comes to offices and similarly important institutions, I can get over myself for a while, knowing that it's good not to make unnecessary trouble.
Worst of all is an unknown or hidden number. My mind immediately creates negative scenarios of all possible paths after I answer the call. It's the fear of not knowing what to answer in a hurry and the awkward silence. Or that it's a scammer who will drain my account just by virtue of me taking the call... there are a lot of possibilities and they all seem real to me. In short, calling is as unpleasant and obnoxious to me as, say, rubbing Styrofoam is to someone.
What do you do when you get a call from an unknown number?
Within five seconds, I'm on the internet looking to see if anyone else has had experience with it. And it doesn't matter what I find out, I'm not picking up next time either. I'm just wondering how much danger I may have escaped. Sometimes I read quite a few bizarre cases in the media about being robbed through a simple phone call. I don't understand at all how, in this day and age, a person can trick someone purely because they have a pleasant voice. Even the older generations have the opportunity to learn at least the basics of using new technology and to check who is calling and whether they are telling the truth.
You mentioned a psychologist. Have you ever shared your fears with a professional in this field?
I once had a conversation in high school with someone who I guess could be described as that, but he didn't understand me at all, even though he said he did. The only things he understood were learned definitions, tables, and phrases that I have read and heard many times since. And they were no help.
You were born at the turn of the millennium, so you are the first generation for whom modern technology has been a natural part of life since you were a child. So how do you personally feel about the advances in the technological world?
On the one hand, I see all the benefits as simplifying work, saving time, being able to spend more time on yourself, but on the other hand I also feel a kind of growing reluctance of people to see each other in person. I'm convinced that if in a few years there is a perfect virtual reality where you can live a whole new life and forget about your real life, more than 80% of people will take advantage of it. It's like with everything. It's not what we use, it's how we use it. It's not the phones that bother me, it's the fact that we've become slaves to them.
Let's try a slightly philosophical question at the end. Do you think it's safer to call someone or to communicate with them telepathically?
Definitely telepathy! There's no danger there. If we talked to each other only with our thoughts, most of the lies, pretense and deception would be eliminated. People wouldn't be able to hide anything from each other. But then again, maybe I'm extremely optimistic about this. I guess I'm a child of extremes.
