A handful of good tips on how to behave on a first date that apply to gay and straight people alike

1. Smile

Few things can break the ice between people like a smile. A simple human smile is an absolutely magical thing. It's impossible to resist, because we're programmed to like it. Especially if it's genuine. And you can always conjure up a genuine smile. Like when you realize you're on a date. That's a beautiful thing that makes you smile.

2. Be sincere

This advice sounds like the most cliché, but it's very important. Because a date is for you to get to know the other person. And for them to get to know you. And to see if you can get together (and maybe even lie down later). It may be more strategically advantageous in the short term to pretend to be the perfect person, but in the long run, honesty is definitely better. Because you don't want to date someone who doesn't know who you really are. Because once it turns out that you're pulling the wool over the eyes of the person in question, it might not turn out well at all.

But that doesn't mean you have to be rude. There is a difference between being honest and being insulting. And you also don't have to open up personal or unnecessarily sensitive topics right away, such as your financial situation or previous partner experiences. It's a good idea not to ask such things yourself, but if a question comes from the other side, answer truthfully. Even if the answer is "We don't know each other that well yet, so I'd keep it to myself."

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3. Ask questions and listen

While we all like to talk about ourselves, if you just go through the whole meeting talking about what you are, do, know and dislike, you won't make a very good impression. Instead, show that you're interested in getting to know what the other person is like. Which you should have, otherwise we don't know why you're going on a date with someone.

Asking is inherent in getting to know each other. It's perfectly okay to ask. And asking is also the best way to avoid awkward silences. If you're afraid you won't know what to ask, prepare your topics calmly ahead of time. You can find whole lists of tips on the internet for original questions to ask at your first meeting.

And in a worst-case scenario, you can always use the "repeat and fill in" strategy: summarise what you've just learned and ask for some more detail. For example, "Have you been to New York? Is American culture really that different from European culture?"

4. Turn off your notifications

During a date, you are supposed to pay attention to your counterpart, not stare at your phone. Maybe the other person will say that he or she doesn't mind, but don't let that fool you, because everyone likes it better when you pay attention to them. And it has benefits for you too. When you're not looking at your phone and texting back, you'll be more focused on the other person, the meeting will be more conscious and you'll both enjoy it more. So it's best to completely turn off notifications on your phone before the meeting. So that you don't get annoyed, so that you're not tempted to unwittingly pull out your phone and see who's texting you. Because sometimes we do that automatically. Yeah, and that goes for smartwatches too.

5. Make it clear whether it's a date or sex. And be prepared for both.

When you start to arrange a date with someone you're interested in, you should be clear about whether it's going to be a traditional date to get to know each other or a hook-up, i.e. a date for sex.

In history, it may have been played on the idea that sex was only appropriate after marriage, but nowadays we are in a slightly different place. The topic of sex on the first date is totally relevant, and also the line between dating and non-committal meetings is not always as clear as it could be.

So let your counterpart know if you're interested in getting to know each other for the purpose of dating, going out together and possibly partnering up, or if you want to meet up and casually enjoy an evening (or night, or morning, or all day, it's up to your taste and stamina).

Why? Because even you wouldn't want the person you're going on a date with to be interested in just one-off sex, while you think there will be a sequel and romantic tryst. Which means it's also totally okay to ask about it beforehand. Unless it's clear from, for example, a Grindr conversation along the lines of "It would be nice to meet someone for the evening, do you want to come over?".

Even if it's a "casual" date, though, expect that it might end up at your house (and by that we mean in bed). So clean up your act, stock up on condoms and make sure there's not a drop of lube left in the bottom. Also, it's not a bad idea to know your HIV status.

6. Who pays?

If you're going on a date to a cafe, bar or other same-sex establishment, the "man pays" rules are completely useless. In this case, it's best to assume in advance that you'll simply be paying. And then gracefully ask your counterpart if you can invite him. This way you give him room to decide and do not give the impression that you are forcing him to do something. And you look more polite. Compared to a brusque "I'm inviting you", this is a small but significant change.

It's a change that also opens up the possibility that the other person will refuse, and say that he wants to pay the bill, or that he wants to pay separately. All of these options are fine, and you don't have to be stupid to accept them.

You can also use the exact same strategy when it comes to a man-woman date. Even if it's just a formality, you'll be impressed with the question alright. And you will also make it clear that you are not bound by stereotypes and that you respect the woman as an equal partner.