The man must be taller than the woman. How do "height stereotypes" affect mate choice and do they apply to gay relationships?
The numbers are clear when it comes to height and female preferences: women prefer dating and relationships with taller men, and tall men also attract women, who tend to be described as more attractive. One of the many studies that have looked at height preferences in relationships concluded that women are most satisfied if their partner is 21 centimetres taller. Men are then most satisfied if they tower over their wives by about 8 centimetres. Other research reports that just under 14% of men prefer to date only women who are shorter than themselves. In the case of women, however, dating only taller men was preferred by almost 50% of them - and in fact, you could say that it is more important for women than men that their taller counterparts are a few centimetres shorter than their male counterparts. In fact, this is also supported by research that shows that 23% of men, but only 4% of women, would have no problem being in a relationship where the woman was the taller one.
What role does height play among gay men?
The biggest paradox is that the described height stereotype has to some extent been replicated from straight relationships to gay ones. Everyone then basically assumes that the taller one in the couple is the one who is dominant (the gay speek is simply active, but also "the man"), while the shorter one is simply the "sub" (and thus de facto corresponds to the role of the woman). But the truth is that this stereotype is actually not far from reality. As research among a group of non-heterosexual men has indicated, although most of them expressed the view that they preferred equality in roles, men who positioned themselves in the more dominant and therefore active role also preferred smaller partners - while those who positioned themselves in the more submissive (and therefore passive) role in turn preferred taller partners.
Moreover, according to research in which Czech scientists also participated, most gay men prefer partners taller than themselves (which is - by logical reasoning - basically an impossible wish, given that not all gay men are tall). However, how much weight gays give to their partner's height is based on their own height - thus taller gays prefer those who are shorter, while shorter ones in turn prefer taller ones (and thus it could be said that gays are better off than women and men, since they are actually able to come to quite a match in the end).
When height is a win
Of course, regardless of any efforts to break down stereotypes and go against the tide, taller/taller people are simply at an advantage. People of shorter stature (without gender playing a role) are generally judged to be less attractive and less successful, and while this assessment may have a purely subjective basis, the truth is that taller people also make more money (and this is an indisputable fact, economists even call this condition the "height premium").
Zdroj: Giphy
To make matters worse, specifically men of smaller stature are also less healthy. "Shorter men tend to be less educated, less healthy, have higher BMIs and lower incomes than men of taller stature," other researchers who have focused on the topic of height then summarize quite mercilessly. And, according to their conclusions, these shorter men also tend to choose women of shorter stature who, like them, are less healthy, less educated and have a higher BMI...
What are the takeaways? That while research and data is a beautiful thing, they further generalize their conclusions made on a specific (though hopefully representative) sample to the entire population. This is not to say that every piece of research clearly speaks for everyone. The best advice, then, is to put all the opinions of others behind you and follow your own discretion (and, of course, your heart). There is simply no standard height, and no universally ideal height difference between partners (of whatever gender and orientation). So there is no point in worrying about an inch.
