There are fewer women wanting children and more gay men wanting a family of their own. Is heterosexuality a universal "patent" on parenthood?
Although it is not yet a common practice in the Czech Republic, at least abroad (towards the West) gay/lesbian parenting is becoming quite common. Of course, the legislation of one country or another is also important, but in some countries lesbians and gays can already adopt children without any problems, and surrogacy is also available to gays. This does require some capital, but it is also a way for gay people to pass on their genes to the next generation. Although not everywhere both partners are recognised as parents, at least one of them is the legal father (by the way, surrogacy can be used in our country as well, the law does not specify it, but does not explicitly prohibit it either).
However, given that the expectant father should pay for at least all medical care of the surrogate mother (and specifically in the USA this is a service that is even provided by specialized agencies), at least for now it is an option that is mostly used by various public figures. But this too is to be welcomed, as it is the famous gay couples who are in the media spotlight and can thus show by example that even two men can provide a loving family environment for their children. After Neil Patrick Harris, Elton John, Ricky Martin, Tom Daley and many others, another famous gay actor, Russell Tovey, has now announced his intention to become a father.
A period of rapid change in the name of human rights and freedoms
The British actor had mentioned that he wanted to start a family back in 2019. But now, in an interview with the UK's Guardian, he has admitted that he is already exploring what options are actually available to him. "Surrogacy, adoption, it's all up for grabs," he said, adding that while he wished to become a father before his 40th birthday, which he probably won't be able to do (he turns 40 this year), fatherhood is, in his words, "absolutely on the cards".
But he also made sure to mention how much has changed in the last couple of decades. He himself may have come out at the age of 18, but that certainly doesn't mean, he says, that he has completely escaped some of the shame that came with being a minority sexual orientation in the past. "I'm part of a whole generation of queer people who still have Article 28 in their blood," he also sums up.
Article 28 was a Margaret Thatcher-era law (passed in 1988 and not finally repealed until 2003) set against "promoting homosexuality." As Tovey summarized the main message of this legislation, it actually made every queer person feel like a pervert and that there was no place for them in society - and that if they wanted to succeed and be happy, they must not claim their orientation. "I was lucky in my environment, but many people have this law ingrained in them. But today they live in a world where children as young as teenagers are announcing to the world that they are pansexual, for example. And that's just great," he sums up. And besides, it's also a world where not only can everyone be themselves, but at the same time the path to parenthood is gradually being opened up to lesbians and gays.
Rainbow families as a natural evolution of society?
Of course, there are countless opponents of gay/lesbian cohabitation, let alone parenthood, in the world (including the Czech Republic). On the other hand, at least some places are succeeding in breaking through this resistance - and as practice already suggests, lesbians and gays can be great parents to their children. According to time-lapse studies, being raised by same-sex parents not only does not harm children, but even has a positive effect on them - children from rainbow families, according to researchers, are more perceptive, empathetic, and may even achieve better academic results.In fact, it could be said that there is not a single reasonable argument why lesbians and gays cannot raise children (since the missing role model theories have long since fallen under the table, not to mention the absurd abuse thesis).
Zdroj: Giphy
However, while society is arguing about preserving the "traditional family", it is the very family that is literally dying under its hands. Not only do heterosexual marriages nowadays certainly not last a lifetime with the complacency inherent in them, but many women do not actually desire motherhood at all. In the US alone, the birth rate has fallen by 2% in the last decade and, despite initial speculation about a baby boom, this figure has doubled in the pandemic. Although the same is not entirely true for the Czech Republic, according to the Czech Statistical Office, the number of unmarried people in the population is steadily increasing and the number of married women and men is decreasing. Logically, the number of children born out of wedlock is also increasing. And as the CSO's summary report states, although fertility is increasing slightly, the current value of 1.71 children per woman "does not ensure simple reproduction of the population in the long term", which would require a fertility rate of at least 2.1 children per woman, a value last recorded in the Czech Republic in 1980. Czech women, too, are postponing motherhood and many are rejecting it altogether. According to demographers, the reasons are obvious: economic and political uncertainty, as well as the decreasing stigma attached to childlessness. Given that most childcare still falls on the shoulders of women (and in the Czech Republic, for example, only a bare minimum of men take parental leave), it is not surprising that many of them prioritise freedom, career and their own interests over starting a family.
The right to parenthood: for everyone
It is perhaps paradoxical that, in the case of heterosexual orientation, no one is concerned with the parenting skills of women and men. If the "traditional biological role" is fulfilled, all is well. Regardless of age, background, competence. Just how dire the situation can really be is illustrated by a bizarre probe into Czech families - the reality show Výměna spoželek (Wife Exchange), from which one could draw adepts for immediate intervention by social services. But it is as if the motto still hovers over us: heterosexual family = proper family. And this despite the fact that literally legions of lesbians and gays could often take care of children a thousand times better (indeed, many have already proved this, even when the Czech authorities throw sticks under their feet and children end up in their care from children's homes who are not in the care of "traditional couples").
Of course, without a woman and a man, a child will not come into the world. However, surrogacy in particular, which is becoming increasingly popular among gay men, is more a question of the "market" than of fulfilling the "role of the mother". And there are apparently enough women in the world who are willing to "rent their wombs". As well as women who simply don't want children, and gay men who do. The latter are left to either adoption or surrogacy. So why should they not be allowed to do so?
