Men who have a cat are not manly enough - women think. And it's the fault of a stupid gay stereotype
When a person wants to meet and find a relationship, he can choose different ways. However, especially in the covid era, dating in clubs, bars and generally public places is quite problematic, so it is no wonder that the popularity of dating apps and various online platforms is growing. This is where photos come into play - they basically act as the main "lure", because as practice suggests, few people decide to examine the personal profile of a person who does not appeal to them visually. Of course, it is not necessarily just about capturing a face - to distinguish themselves, but also to reveal their own character or interests, many people resort to using photos from holidays, sporting or cultural events and, last but not least, photos with pets. However, this is a rather disservice to men at least, who enjoy pictures with their cat...
Not so long ago, scientists proudly proclaimed to the world that in heterosexual relationships, women evaluate potential partners precisely according to whether they have pets at home. Although it turned out that women preferred men who shared a household with a dog, even gentlemen whose home was kept company by a cat were more interesting to female assessors for establishing a relationship than men whose household included, at most, a cactus from the category of living organisms. This was also why there was a perception that men who posted pictures of their cat on a dating site would appear more attractive than men without any pet. But this turned out to be a mistake.
When the researchers decided to present women with two sets of photos of the same men, with the difference that one photo showed the man alone and the other showed him holding a cat, women perceived men with cats as less masculine and even neurotic (and as a result, less attractive), compared to the same men who were pictured alone. It should be added, however, that women's own preferences in the direction of choosing a pet may also have come into play, as it is not uncommon for someone to proclaim how much they love dogs, but cats are not allowed over their doorstep - and of course vice versa.
And masculinity has taken a beating again
But how to explain the effect of men with cats on women? There are several theories, but the most likely is that the concept of traditional masculinity has been disrupted. Regardless of what we think about the various stereotypes associated with what is and is not masculine, the truth is that women (perhaps subconsciously) simply prefer men who visually fulfill aspects of traditional masculinity. Those who, on the other hand, disrupt them and display "femininity" are considered either straight up gay (because, after all, a sensitive man has to be gay...) or at least effeminate and undesirable.
Where are the cats in the equation of effeminacy? That's pretty simple too - cats are stereotypically associated with women, and what's more - if you say "spinster", usually everyone imagines a lonely lady surrounded by cats (yet the stereotype of women and cats can be found in other cultural patterns as well - cats are traditionally found in witches :-)). If a man has a cat, he is thus perceived as more effeminate and his masculinity simply suffers with a superior pet.
Zdroj: Giphy
No CAT-astrophe
But while various stereotypes about cat ownership persist to this day, the truth is that the particular concept of the "crazy abandoned cat lover" was addressed by science last year, and experts concluded that the stereotype is definitely not based on relevant evidence. "Cat owners are no different from other people when it comes to symptoms of depression, anxiety or their experiences in close relationships. Thus, our findings are not consistent with the idea of cat owners as more depressed, anxious or lonely," he summarized the research, adding that having a lot of cats in the home does not necessarily make one an "antisocial despairing fool."
In fact, another recent study found that people who have a dog or cat at home are more perceptive and can also respond more empathetically to stimuli from their surroundings, for example. So, although a picture on a dating site with a cat in your arms may not necessarily act as an ideal "magnet" for a potential mate, it may say more about the nature of the person captured than is convoluted into the idea of an effeminate bimbo spending long autumn evenings with a cat wrapped around her neck.
With a cat against toxic masculinity
So, regardless of the fact that some women may use the feline perspective to evaluate male attractiveness - and, by extension, masculinity - there is already a growing male movement on the internet that seeks to shatter the stereotype that cats are for girls and dogs are for boys. They take photos of themselves with kittens, for example, and simply point out that a man does not always have to be a strong, predatory male, but can also be more gentle. "For too long, there has been a stereotype of softened men who have cats. It's time to show the world that it's okay for a man to have a cat," says one of the founders of the It's Okay to be a Cat Guy initiative.
While such a struggle for men not to be judged as less masculine simply because of a cat may seem ridiculous, psychology experts welcome it in principle - for it is, they say, a shift towards a more positive and inclusive masculinity, which is increasingly necessary today, even in the face of the growing manifestations of masculinity in its more aggressive forms. "There are aspects of orthodox masculinity that prevent or prohibit men from doing many things. And that includes interacting with animals and expressing feelings towards them. So I think it's an interesting cultural shift when men learn to embrace cat love, present it publicly on social media, and actually challenge the stereotype that they're effeminate," says sociologist Heather Fraser.
And so, really, the only takeaway from this is. If women have a "problem" with men taking pictures of themselves on dating sites with chicks, the problem is purely theirs. Men, on the other hand, should not be seduced by such stereotypical views and should simply be themselves. This is regardless of whether they have a cat a dog or a canary.
