Surveys are clear: Single people are happier, more balanced and enjoy life to the full
As data collected across the world suggests, up to half of all people live alone - that is, without a partner. According to Eurostat data from 2017, up to a third of all households in EU countries are single (72 million single people in concrete terms). However, it has to be said that the reasons for living alone can vary. While some may indeed theorize that they want to enjoy their "best years" without commitment, others are single more by a combination of circumstances (and may not be too comfortable with this state of affairs either). Moreover, while one might assume that partner life and starting a family would be postponed more by younger generations looking for freedom and perhaps a career, the opposite is true. According to a survey conducted last year, the age group of 25-34 is the least likely to be single in the Czech Republic...
"I have always been very 'out in the world', after high school I went to England to work as an au pair. After a while I was sorry I didn't have a university degree, so I came back to the Czech Republic to finish it. During my studies, I took the opportunity to go on the Erasmus programme again, I just didn't have time for any relationships and I didn't really feel like it. The idea of explaining to my boyfriend where I was going, why and for how long, was so scary that I actually put off those who were interested in a relationship right from the start. In retrospect, I think that it was probably a mistake, that it was more about communication and that we could probably manage," Zuzka (39) says.
Although Zuzka successfully graduated, found a job and started to climb the career ladder, a suitable partner never came along. "Suddenly I was 30, my friends were starting families and I had risen to a managerial position. I was working sometimes 20 hours a day. And because I work in a multinational company, I also travelled a lot. I was 35...and suddenly I found myself browsing dating sites and my demands were such that I would probably be alone forever (laughs). Today I'm in my 40s and so I guess I've missed out on something, but after the frustration of the last few years, I'm looking at these friends of mine with kids and husbands again, how they're so caught up, living between the home and the sandbox...some of them are already divorcing...and it's clear to me that I don't envy them that. In fact, I can't even imagine having someone move into my home and having to start changing my habits. The thought of having to start adapting to someone else is so frightening that I actually think I'm perfectly fine on my own," she sums up. She is alluding to the problem that the younger generation of singles in particular faces the most - they are getting used to living "on their own". On the other hand, making any changes - and trying to find some kind of compromise, which is always necessary in a partnership - becomes harder and harder with every day spent alone.
According to psychologists, it is then crucial whether a person can cope with his or her situation in such a way that he or she is satisfied with him or herself. So, while some people may indeed find that single life suits them, others may be literally "overwhelmed" by the situation. After all, women in particular are somewhat age-restricted in starting a family, and not everyone can give up the idea of a partner and children. After all, this is confirmed by experts who agree that the perception of single life changes not only with age but also with gender.
Zdroj: Giphy
Well-being - panic - reconciliation - demands
While up to the age of 30 no one worries too much about establishing long-term relationships and forward-looking plans "in five-years" (...first holiday in Yugo...Croatia, promotion, first child, car....), after 30 comes the "panic". And this concerns especially women, whose mythical biological clock starts to become an important topic. The men, on the other hand, are calm for the time being and continue their exuberant fun, which practically does not have to come to an end. After all, as far as reproduction is concerned, the male part of the population can whistle merrily, unlike women, whose "egg expiration" is ticking like a time bomb. The phase of certain reconciliation then applies again to all those who have already turned 40 and it is clear that it does not look like a white wedding anymore. But if it seemed that in the years to come every potential partner would be an imaginary gift from heaven, the opposite is true. Because once a person can come to terms with what their life is like, they start to enjoy it. And that's even alone. After all, as surveys show, single people tend to be happier, more balanced and often live a more fulfilled life than married people - they have much more time for their interests, hobbies and friends. And conversely, much less stress... (By the way, is it any wonder that (1) women who live alone and (2) men who are married live to a higher age?) In any case, one can taste the magic of single life at an older age, and that's when the freedom can taste even better, because one has already had "one's fill" in a partnership...
Zdroj: Giphy
"My wife and I got married when we were in our twenties. In those days, I mean long before the revolution, it was common. We had two children, built a house and just lived as expected. But the kids grew up, moved away, and my wife and I found out that we were turning fifty and we didn't really have anything to say to each other. We were living next door to each other, not together. And so it was divorce - by mutual agreement. We sold the house and went our separate ways. Although our daughters didn't take it well, and many friends shook their heads over it, my ex-wife and I remained friends - but we each lived elsewhere. And we're really enjoying all the new options. It's been over seven years now, and although living alone was quite hard for me at first and my daughters had to teach me how to use the washing machine, I can take care of myself today, which I'm proud of myself for (laughs). And actually, in retrospect, I can appreciate what my ex-wife did for the whole family," says Martin (58). He rules out the possibility of finding a new partner. "Every man has his own likes and dislikes. For me, it was the things my wife hated about me - and I enjoy them now and I'm just not curious that someone at my age will reproach me again (laughs). I've learned a lot in almost eight years and I'm happy to be on my own," he concludes.
So although single life certainly cannot be painted in pink, there are undeniable benefits - but they differ at each age. Which in turn also applies to the effects on the psyche of singles who are single involuntarily. While at a younger age the condition can result, especially for women, in eventually giving in to their entitlements for the sake of motherhood and simply "taking what is" (unless they are among the ever-increasing number of women who choose to raise a child without a partner), as the years go by, loneliness can become almost hopeless and depressing. But according to psychologists, everything stands and falls on mind-set. Waiting for a prince charming (whose female equivalent is sorely lacking in the fairy tale narrative...) is, to put it politely, nonsense, because no one like that is coming. And so those who are single but don't want to be should pull the imaginary shiny armor out of the closet themselves and go "hunting" - purposefully and systematically. On the other hand, those who can't enjoy single life should disregard the opinions of their surroundings and family, and simply enjoy to the full what many people only silently envy them...
