The Ten Commandments of the Modern Gay Man
1. Who you share a bed with doesn't define you
You were born into a society that sees you as different from a young age. And that's only because you don't fit into their paradigm of couplehood. Let's just say that this society is a bit blinded and uninformed - same-sex partnerships are as old as humanity itself, and long before us there were cultures in which same-sex couples worked just as well as heterosexual ones. Yet we are now in an age whose value system will primarily recognize you as the one who sleeps with men. As important a part of your life as that is, the truth is that it is not the most important part - what defines you are your actions, your actions, your heart, your friends. The work you do, the taxes you pay, the political group you choose to give your vote to. It is the posts you make that fill your social networks, the amount of love, joy and kindness you contribute to cultivating your circle of friends and acquaintances. And so much more. Your partner preferences are just a sliver of what shapes you as a full human being. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
2. You are not just a combination of ones and zeros.
One day there will come a time when you want to meet. You'll surely then discover the vast networking opportunities in a digital world that seems designed for people. But in reality, there are no people in this world. There are only images of people. Images that you create based on the photos you look at. Images to which you attribute specific traits, personality traits, and other character traits that combine to form an idealized idea of your perfect counterpart. If you want to be part of this delusional world, you must become one such image. It's up to you who you choose to be. You always have a choice - to become one of the images and rely on the slim chance that you will encounter another image with which you will create a literally mythical match, or to reject the principle whose essence is the shrinking of an internally and externally rich person into... a few ones and zeros.
3. Sex doesn't have to be exclusively a sport
You may feel that you are the only one in this world who does not regularly indulge in sexual pleasures. That's why you may be telling yourself that you should have a sexual life. By all means. I mean, everybody's doing it now, right? The truth is, there are plenty of us who see sex as a sport. Just as a sport. But that doesn't mean there aren't people for whom intimate moments are the fruit of sparkling self-discovery. If you're not currently sexually active, you don't necessarily have to throw yourself into every bed that reveals itself just to feel like you fit in. Sometimes you have to wait for the good stuff.
4. I'm not your penis
Sometimes you may be judged solely by your penis. By its size, width, shape, curve, color, degree of pubic hair, circumcision status, and on and on. Some will tell you it's small, for others it will be too big or just unsatisfactory in any of the categories described. One thing is for sure - you simply cannot avoid evaluating this body part. Therefore, it may happen that after a while you will identify with your penis and view yourself according to the classification you have received. But your penis is not you. You are primarily a man whose one body part is the penis. ONE. What matters is that you have it, it is functional, and you can and know how to use it. Because even if the penis is perfect, you'll still come to believe after a while that an asshole will remain an asshole even if he has two penises.
Zdroj: Giphy
5. Love your body
The physical body you inhabit is the shell of your soul. And it listens every time you speak to it. When you tell it that it's unattractive or lacking in something. And then it acts accordingly. But when you think about it, your body is the most perfect living organism the universe (or rather, the part of it we observe) knows. The highest life form known to us. Then ask yourself: does this body deserve the flak it gets from me? There is no absolute and timeless concept of human beauty. Generally accepted standards of what is and is not beautiful are constantly changing. It is only a matter of how much we accept the current definition of beauty as our own. Your body may not be to everyone's liking. It's perfectly fine if only one person likes it and finds it perfect just the way it is. So love your body and take care of it. Only with its help can your own experience in this world be complete.
6. Your father is also only human.
In most cases, parents do what they think is best for their offspring. Even if in doing so they commit atrocities that are incomprehensible to us today. Parental aggression can very often be just poorly expressed fears - for your own future, for your own happiness. Fathers, in particular, feel that they have failed or done something wrong in their upbringing if their son turns out to be homosexual. And they may react disproportionately because of this and because of the lack of information. But the fact is that the only thing they have done wrong is that they have not convinced their son of his own self-worth. However, your father is only human too. A flawed human being who somehow hasn't received a universally valid manual on how to raise his children. Like any of us, he just went with what he thought was right. What was considered right at the time. If you want to mend things with your father, try to understand and forgive him. Because the anger you carry in your heart is harmful to you and you alone.
7. Love thy neighbour
Do you want society to respect you, but at the same time you are unable to give respect? Then think again - you expect acceptance from others because you are different in their eyes. But you yourself are not capable of accepting otherness. That's why you condemn guys with make-up and handbags. That's why you spit on those whose skin is a different color or despise those who don't feel they are in the right body. You loudly demand your rights without acknowledging the existence of the rights of others. But where do the boundaries of otherness lie? Who is different enough and who is too different? The truth is that we are all different, yet we are all the same. Love your neighbor through the love you are able to give to yourself. For the unity of humanity, of which you are a part, lies in its myriad diversity.
8. You are not what the politicians say you are.
From time to time there is an idiot for whom your delusion becomes a threat to his moral principles. This is despite the fact that you have never met such a person and do not know each other. Such a person can then very confidently proclaim into the public arena that you were born to one day come to disrupt his family, at best, and even steal it, at worst. This idiot is then so convinced of his "truth" that he will tear down other idiots for it. If such a situation ever arises, pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and realize that you are an existence of sorts, who makes this world a nicer, more colorful, more fragrant, and more pleasant place to live; who has not come to sneak into people's homes, bag their families, and spray paint their walls rainbow. You were born to live, and one fine day you'll come to the conclusion that this world is full of idiots, and if any of them have a problem with you, it's their problem.
Zdroj: Giphy
9. God loves you just the way you are.
Just as the world is full of idiots, it is also full of religious fanatics. Sad truth, face it. For such fanatics, preaching the word of God has become preaching hate. Completely divorced from the original intent of the holy books, these fanatics are convinced of their own interpretation of devotional scripture into which they project their personal dissatisfaction with the way the world is today. A world that does not conform to their narrowly defined definition of right living. But God does not tell us that we should hate each other. It's not until humans or his prophets say there are differences between us. Rather, God tells us that we should be kind to one another and we should respect one another because we are all made of the same cloth. His dough. So we all have God in us. Each of us is a divine being in our own way. And each of us carries his love within us.
10. If you are still unable to accept yourself...
Turn to the Church. There they are used to people like you and will gladly accept you into their ranks. You'll finally be among your own.
Amen.
Zdroj: Giphy
