"I love you, man!" Straight men are afraid to express affection to other men, but the coronavirus changes everything
I love you!
The stage where some people practically tell each other that they love each other (in the USA, the declaration "I love you" is actually very common) is certainly not something that we can easily reach in our latitudes. On the other hand - a fleeting declaration that we love someone has certainly never cost anyone their life. While e.g. among women a similar situation is more common in our country, especially heterosexual men would rarely even think of telling their partner over a beer that they care about him. And those who do are afraid of the reaction they might get (no, just because one man cares about another doesn't really mean he's gay). And they find that expressing affection to loved ones is very liberating...
Perhaps because the coronavirus in some countries of the world is showing that life and death are elements that are completely inscrutable, or perhaps because social distance is causing people to lack intimacy, many are beginning to realise the meaning and importance of words. After all, sometimes words are the only thing left in interpersonal contact because of coronary care.
I love you, man!
Although society tries to break down various taboos and be open and progressive, especially relationships between heterosexual men are burdened with many stereotypical ideas. Thus, men are under the "threat" of being accused of homosexuality, as well as under pressure regarding the traditional male role and its proper chalpacian behaviour (probably few men would like to be called "chick" or "wimp" by their friends) . "Men do face barriers of stigma when it comes to expressing affection to other men. And many have never had any male role models in their vicinity to show them that men can show affection too," confirms then interpersonal relations expert and psychologist, Paulette Sherman.
However, even though words like "I like you" among men may seem strange to some, experts summarise that it is necessary to work on changing mindsets and attitudes and de facto challenging certain norms, for example, even in a smaller group of people. "The situation could be compared to a group of children standing on the shore of a lake in summer, and no one wants to be the first to jump into the icy water. The fear behind it is that the first one to do it will have all his friends on the shore and they will laugh at him. But when all the kids jump in together, it's great in the end," the psychologist says.
Of course, expressions of affection don't always have to be verbal; behaviour and actions speak for some, but it's the times when social distance is necessary that provide the ideal opportunities to express oneself. And it is not necessarily just mutual "love" in the case of men. Many are afraid to show their vulnerability, fear, remorse, gratitude, and even sadness precisely because of the potential violation of their comfort zone. Yet it would take quite little. And with emotions expressed, many would immediately live much better and happier lives.
