Coming out even today can ruin a person's life. Because of their difference, (famous) people become victims of blackmail
Nikkie de Jager is a Dutch vlogger and make-up artist. A year ago, she "decided" to announce to all her fans (and there are several million of them worldwide, probably needless to say) that she is a trans woman. "I would like to inspire all the little Nikkies around the world if they are feeling insecure. I hope that my actions will give everyone the courage to be as free as I am. It's 2020, a time for us to understand, accept, listen and respect each other," she said. All of this would be quite nice, however, if Nikkie hadn't come out for completely different motives. Blackmail.
Of course, the reactions to Nikkie's announcement didn't take long to come. Fans wished the vlogger, who began her transition into a woman at a young age, good luck and thanked her for deciding to share such an intimate piece of information with them. But what was completely lost in this whirlwind of support was the reason why Nikkie decided to speak publicly about her gender change now. "I wanted to share my story on my own terms. I was in danger of losing this chance. So today I'm taking back control," she said. She was blackmailed by people who threatened to give her whole story to the media. Nikkie also told them that she knew her video was definitely being watched...
Coming out as a threat
In a very similar scenario to Nikkie's coming out, former rugby player Gareth Thomas' public announcement that he is HIV positive was also a threat. Although in his case the response has also been very positive and Gareth's story has also served to further shift the perception of HIV+ people as capable of living full lives, the fact that he too has been the victim of blackmail casts a dark shadow over the whole affair. He did not even tell his parents that he was HIV positive, yet he made his illness public as he says he was threatened. Tom Neuwirth - known as Conchita Wurst - has a very similar experience. He was also blackmailed because of his HIV+ status...
It is perhaps quite surprising that coming out is considered shameful and still has the power to practically ruin a person's life, even at a time when people are publicly urged not to be afraid to show their true selves. But alas, being yourself is still not so easy. Even today, private information about sexuality or gender identity is still a weapon that can backfire in unpleasant ways. And practically devalue everything one has ever achieved. If difference or illness were not still a stigma, not only those mentioned above would certainly not be subject to such pressure. And so the best thing about Nikkie de Jager's coming out is actually that a number of her fans, perhaps just by watching makeup tutorials, will gain a new dose of empathy.
