Through the eyes of a straight man: monogamy may be an illusion nowadays, but it's a beautiful idea at heart

Life certainly moves faster than it did in my grandparents' time; today's times and relationships are generally very fast. Quickly consumed, short. And so one deals with breakups, and there are more of them than there were in the past. Today you have to do this and that. Everything is fast and quick. If you can't do it fast, try to do it even faster, time is money. And these days it's a lot about making money. Adapt or go. Law of the jungle.

And it's natural that this translates into social life, into relationships. Now the open question. How many of you have ever met someone who has heard a sentence along the lines of, "This job will ruin your social life. Like it's happened to all of us."

Why do I say that and what is the connection? Yet my generation is vivified by literature, movies, stories and memories that often end with "and they were happily ever after." What's more. Even the family background encouraged a classical upbringing. Man, wife, child, house, car, vacation, retirement. To many of today's young people, this seems more like prehistory, utopia, to some, obsolescence. And it's becoming almost impossible to see such things. In relationships, we often skate on the surface, when something goes wrong, we throw it away, we don't fix it. And another relationship is sought.

I would even like to believe that many people would like to spend their lives with one partner. But today's times, upbringing, pushing boundaries and the great onslaught of the virtual world really doesn't lend itself to that. We're put under enormous pressure that most people succumb to. No, it doesn't help. Perhaps I'm being overly skeptical, but don't take that as despair. It's more a statement of fact from my point of view.

And please, we're talking about serious relationships. Let's leave summer romances, elementary and high school crushes, or college frolics out of this discussion.

We are virtual social media icons - in a place with no rules.

Let me ask a perhaps philosophical question. Is it possible to have a lasting, long-term relationship these days?

I myself am in a four-year relationship. I see longevity in it, the future. We share trust, truth and lives from A to Z. We're both specific, which is why we went into it with our cards open. This confirmed to us that what we are experiencing has depth and a future. We're not just together as youngsters in a summer romance. And I'm trying to focus my energy on building that relationship because that's where I see the importance.

That's why SOCIAL NETWORKS have completely lost meaning for me personally. A time suck. A hotbed of hate. An anonymous state with no ruler and therefore no rules. A place to vent your frustrations. A space where you enter cheerful but leave pissed off. And it hasn't always been that way, because I remember the early days of Facebook.

On a daily basis, you can be approached by anyone, at any time, wherever you are. Because there are x number of different apps for communication and countless attractions in the world of the internet. And all of this together, of course, threatens the foundations of family life. If I am not strong enough as a person in my own right to face this, and I fear that there are very very few of these people and there will be even fewer, the truth needs to be faced. Sometimes cruel.

And that is why I think social networking is the biggest scourge of our time, and it is making us grow a whole generation of antisocials. Countless different profiles on countless different platforms. One ceases to be oneself. There is no more Tomas Prokop (a name I made up). There is no longer any profile of Tomas Prokop. Virtual friends. Virtual sitting over a beer and a virtual debate about the quality of society. And virtual girlfriends.

But I have time for a romantic dinner together. A movie with a glass of wine. A walk. A hike. Enough energy to solve problems. Enough energy to be in a good mood. Or just enough time to myself. Yes, you can argue with me that with a little common sense, it can be combined.

But...

Not in the long run. And now I'm interpreting the opinions I read from the experts. Social networking is an addictive thing. It's a drug. And it leads to self-destruction. Destruction of relationships. It affects you and your opinions. Because you no longer have your own, you're just parroting someone else's. And look at the generation of teenagers today. Do you think I'm exaggerating?

I'm still thinking that maybe a study to see how many unpleasant people are made unpleasant by the use of social networking sites would be a good idea. And here then, the bad mood pumped into us on the internet somehow doesn't affect relationships.

Is that naive or, to put it in modern terms, outdated? To some, perhaps. And I don't really care if someone finds it naive or not. I see it this way, others may see it differently. Sure, this topic probably deserves more space, more thought, more opinions, but that's why I'm asking myself and you these questions.

I really think it's important to find the right counterpart. And how? Because it may seem that social networks are a great field of a thousand possibilities. Well, is it really a fertile field? I'd say be careful, we're looking for a needle in a haystack of lies.

We're running out of experiences, and we're running out of thumbs and hearts.

The second thing, which I think is very crucial, but which is not commonplace today, is simply the time we spend with each other. In a world full of information, distractions and enticements of all kinds, the art of attending to your counterpart is very important. Because that's where you can tell the difference between wanting someone for yourself or just someone beside you. Because in the latter case, it can be someone different every week.

By isolating ourselves from the outside world, we have time for a romantic dinner together. A movie with a glass of wine. A walk. A trip. Enough energy to solve problems. Enough energy to be in a good mood. Or just enough time to ourselves. In my ideal world, I just don't see my phone in my hand in every situation. Let it be in the bag, let it take pictures, but don't let it be a distraction.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to see posts, threads, and comments at dinner from people who are frustrated with themselves and so they take their frustration into the virtual world to poison the lives of others because they don't want to be alone in that. Let's take advantage of the conveniences of today. But let's use them to build something that makes sense. For a long-term relationship, for example. And let's commit to each other.

And to go back to the beginning, sure, we've all studied, had wild years, taken life as it came to us. But then there comes a point when it's time to grow up. When I know what I want and what kind of life I'm going to lead. And I like monogamy, or what it represents. It fulfills me.

Maybe it's not cool anymore. I strongly feel it's fading from the world. It's not popular. And those who embrace this lifestyle are seen as rather backwards. And thanks to the times we've briefly described, perhaps not without a return to our roots. But believe me, the ease of life and the clear priorities I have found through it are priceless.

Viva la monos et gamos.