How do two guys do it? A guide for curious straight guys (and not only for them)
Sex between two men does not differ from heterosexual sex in its basic features. Touching, arousal, getting to know each other, oral sex, foreplay... all these are shared by both "orientations". The difference comes especially when we talk about penetration. For heterosexuals it automatically means vaginal intercourse, for gays it means anal sex.
But it's important to say that not everyone gay has anal sex - and not everyone seeks it out. That's also why it's good to avoid the stereotype that gay sex = butt sex. There are countless variations.
Top, bottom, vers: gay glossary for beginners
Before we dive into specific positions, a little linguistic excursion. In the gay community, the terms are often used:
-
Top - an active partner in anal sex
-
Bottom - passive partner
-
Versatil (or "vers") - one who handles both roles and alternates between them
The division is not determined by appearance, behavior, or voice. It is not uncommon for the "tough guy" to be the bottom in bed and the softer type to be the dominant top. As with heterosexual couples, it's all about agreement, mood and mutual trust.
Before you jump in: hygiene and lubrication
If you've ever thought that gay sex has to be "complicated," well, yes - sometimes it can. But like any other sex, it can be handled well if you know what you're doing. And if you don't know, it's a good idea to read up.
-
Hygiene is basic. Most passive partners defecate before sex and use the shower to wash their anus. An enema is not necessary - a shower head without an attachment is sufficient.
-
Lubricant is a must. The anus doesn't produce lubricating secretions like the vagina, so gel is absolutely essential. And if you use a condom (which we recommend), avoid oil-based lubricants.
-
Communication is sexy. Let the passive partner set the pace and give feedback. First attempts should always be slow, gentle and respectful of boundaries.
4 best sex positions for gay men
Let's get to what you're most interested in - what are actually the most common (and most pleasurable) positions?
1. Missionary
A classic that works. The passive lies on his back, the active partner is on top of him. Benefits? Eye contact, the ability to gently correct penetration, and a better angle thanks to the pillow under the pelvis.
2. Cowboy - or sit down
The passive partner is on top, facing or with his back to the top. This gives him control over depth and speed. Great for beginners - and for those who want to dominate from the bottom.
3. Doggy style
Passive kneeling on all fours, active partner behind. One of the most intense positions, but requires proper angle and communication. Not everyone is comfortable - some are bothered by the lack of face-to-face contact.
4. On the side
Intimate, comfortable, ideal for slow sex. Both partners lie on their sides, the passive partner has his/her butt rolled back. The active partner lies down behind him and hugs him. Perfect for Netflix and chill - literally.
What if I don't want anal?
So what? Many gay men don't have anal sex at all - or only occasionally. Favorites are:
-
Oral sex (including the 69 position)
-
Mutual masturbation
-
Rimming (oral stimulation of the anus)
-
Frottage (rubbing against each other, called dry sex)
Sex is a game, not an obligation. The important thing is that both people enjoy it. If you're straight and your only experience with gay sex is from Pornhub, trust me - it's the same as someone imagining regular heterosexual sex based on porn movies. Artificially exaggerated performances, minimal foreplay, no communication. Real sex between men is about trust, relaxation, experimentation, and getting to know your own body.
Asking how gay men "do it" is not being a homophobe or a "pervert". It means being interested in other life experiences - and maybe even learning something to refresh your own sex life. So if you're interested, don't be afraid to read on, ask questions, and most importantly - don't get stuck in stereotypes.
