Pleasure is not a substitute for a relationship. Toys can be a path to deeper intimacy, says sexologist Melanie Eichhorn
Melanie Eichhorn (she/her) is a sexologist and psychologist with a long-standing commitment to sexual health, education, and an inclusive approach to intimacy. She works with the brand Satisfyer and leads workshops on informed consent and healthy communication.
We have divided the interview into two parts. In the first, we focus on masturbation, the use of toys in relationships, the diversity of bodies and the role of technology in pleasure.
Some couples may struggle with tension when one partner perceives masturbation or sex toy use as a threat to mutual intimacy. There may be jealousy or a sense that this is distancing the partner and "draining" sexual energy outside the relationship. How to deal with these feelings and what can help create a safe space for open dialogue about individual and shared sexuality?
It is perfectly normal for couples to struggle with feelings of insecurity or even jealousy around masturbation or the use of sex toys. The key to resolving these tensions is open and honest communication. If you're the one enjoying solo pleasure, it's important to make it clear that it's not about replacing your partner - it's about getting to know your own body and fulfilling your own needs. And if you have doubts about your partner's masturbation, it's equally legitimate to talk about your vulnerability.
Ask yourself: What are the emotions behind this? Is it fear that I am no longer needed? Or a desire for more intimacy in the relationship? Often such conversations reveal a need for deeper connection rather than distance.
A safe space for dialogue is best created in a neutral environment - perhaps while taking a walk or cooking together. Avoid starting the topic in the bedroom, where emotions may already be heated. Express your appreciation to your partner and stress that individual and shared sexuality fulfill different but equally important needs. Masturbation can help with relaxation, sleep or exploring fantasies, while sex with a partner brings emotional closeness, love and mutual pleasure.
And remember: masturbation is a form of self-care for many people - even in a stable and loving relationship. Open conversation with friends can help normalize these debates and ease shame.
In recent years, powerful vibrating aids such as massage heads have gained a lot of popularity. At the same time, however, there are concerns that their frequent use could lead to reduced sensitivity to more subtle forms of stimulation. What is the experience in practice - are these concerns really justified?
Let's dispel this myth once and for all: vibrating sex toys - even the strongest ones - do not harm the body or reduce sensitivity in any way. There are no known health risks associated with their regular use.
Some people may experience a kind of addiction. As with any habit (including manual masturbation), the body can get used to a certain kind of stimulation that leads to orgasm quickly and reliably. Over time, it may seem more difficult to reach orgasm without exactly this kind of stimulus - but it's a reversible process. Arousal patterns can be re-learned by adding variety.
That's why variety is so important! Try combining different types of toys - combine vibration with Air Pulse technology, explore noiseless dildos or metal and glass toys that offer a different type of sensation. When sex life is varied, the body doesn't learn just one way of experiencing pleasure.
Satisfyer offers a wide range - from powerful Air Pulse toys to sensual noiseless models - so you never have to settle for routine.
Some brands are expanding their offerings to include mindfulness apps and link erotic aids to overall well-being. In your opinion, does this reflect the trend of so-called sexual wellness? And how can mindful eroticism affect mental health?
Absolutely - and it's more than just a trend. Connecting sexuality with overall well-being is finally getting the attention it deserves. Sex toys are no longer just tools for instant gratification - they're an integral part of the sexual wellness movement. When we talk about conscious eroticism, we mean slowing down, being aware of our own bodies, and tuning in to what brings us pleasure and comfort.
Conscious contact with our own bodies - whether alone or with a partner - can have a profound effect on mental health. It helps to relieve stress, promote acceptance of one's own body, improve sleep and self-esteem. In addition, when each partner knows their own desires, it reduces pressure in the relationship and can also help with differing appetites for sex or performance anxiety.
Satisfyer supports this approach with clever features, intuitive design and a focus on both the emotional and mental aspects of pleasure. Because sexual wellness is, at its core, self-care.
Sex toy development is moving towards greater inclusivity - products have gender-neutral designs or take into account different bodily realities. Where do you think the industry is heading and how important is diversity and accessibility in this evolution?
The future of sex toys will be inclusive - otherwise it won't be relevant at all. Human bodies are wonderfully diverse and the same goes for people's identities and experiences. Brands that ignore this aren't just missing the mark - they're missing entire communities.
At Satisfyer, we design products with real people in mind. That means creating toys that aren't defined by gender stereotypes, but by where and how they stimulate. Many of our products are multi-functional, adaptable and have sleek, gender-neutral designs that can be enjoyed by a wide range of users.
Inclusion is not just a buzzword - it's a responsibility. By listening to the experiences of our customers, especially those from marginalized groups, we create tools that allow everyone to explore pleasure on their own terms.
The design of sex toys has undergone a significant transformation - from classic phallic shapes to more creative, often aesthetically pleasing forms. What is behind this change and what does it tell us about contemporary perceptions of sexuality, the body and pleasure?
Gone are the days when sexual aids had to be hidden in a drawer.Today they are lifestyle objects - beautiful, functional and often proudly displayed on a shelf.The move away from explicit phallic shapes has been forced by consumers themselves.People want toys that not only work well, but also look good - simply objects that fit their tastes, not long outdated clichés.
This evolution reflects a broader cultural shift.Sexuality is no longer something to be ashamed of; it's something to celebrate.Creative, aesthetically sophisticated designs appeal to both curious beginners and seasoned connoisseurs.And for queer folks or those who don't identify with traditional symbols of penetration, gender-neutral shapes are significantly more welcoming.
At Satisfyer, we welcome this shift.Our more than five hundred international award-winning products prove that pleasure can be stylish, sophisticated and empowering.
It's not uncommon for people to reach for sex toys only when they're dealing with a problem - such as low libido, difficulties with orgasm or intimacy in a relationship.But shouldn't toys be a normal part of a healthy sex life?
Absolutely yes!While sex toys can help with challenges like difficult orgasms or low desire, their potential is far from over.They are tools for pleasure, discovery and self-empowerment.
More and more people are integrating toys into their everyday private and partnered sexuality.A vibrator doesn't mean that something is "missing" in a relationship - often, on the contrary, it shows that you're placing an emphasis on sexual development and self-discovery.
In fact, early toy involvement can deepen intimacy, spark creativity and boost self-esteem.Satisfyer's wide range makes it easy to find the right tool for your needs - whether you're looking for relaxation, excitement or deeper connection.
The second part of the interview will be released on Friday, July 18, 2025.
