"Karel is a mum, Petr is a dad and as proper gays they live only by (anal) sex" or the stupidest myths about gay sex
Sex = penetration
Among heterosexuals (and by definition it certainly makes sense that it is among heterosexuals) there is an ingrained idea that sex can only be called an act that ends in penetration. So they would undoubtedly be surprised to learn that, for example, according to 2017 data, only 19% of gay men living in the US engage in penetrative, i.e. anal, sex. Yet many gay men are much more likely to enjoy oral sex and other types of sexual arousal. "Anal sex is way down on the list of sexual practices that gay men engage in," confirmed expert David Guggenheim. It's quite absurd that even many gay men feel they have to "fulfill" their duty and practice anal sex. And if they don't, they are not infrequently ridiculed by others. "In the gay community, there is a lot of emphasis on anal penetration. We probably picked up this mindset from heterosexuals from their definition of sex," one gay man interviewed said.
Anal sex: anytime, anywhere
It could be quite a "racy idea": two men meet in a bar, wink slyly at each other and boom! Within minutes, they meet in the toilets, where hot sex awaits them. Flap! Lights! But reality couldn't be further from the truth. First of all, many gay men need some "preparation" (if they prefer a passive role) on a hygienic level before anal sex. Some even adapt their diet to their sexual activities.
And who is a "man" and who is a "woman"?
Lesbians/gays are quite often asked by heterosexuals what role they play in a relationship. Of course, this question can relate not only to who drills the walls at home and who bakes the cake (and thus who is essentially "mommy" and who is "daddy"), but also to what positions they take in bed. Heterosexuals simply like "order," and so they judge lesbian and gay relationships based on the dynamics of classic gender relations. Gay men who express themselves submissively are thus not infrequently seen as the effeminate ones, and therefore submissive in sex. Conversely, those gay men who act dominantly are seen as more masculine - and therefore direction-setting in sex. Reality? Not always this easy...
"Top" and "bottom" and unchanging sex roles
You could say that this myth is quite closely related to the previous one. It only goes further in that considers sex roles to be fixed and unchangeable. If a gay man is a "top", it means he is the penetrator; if he is a bottom, he is, on the contrary, the penetrated. While according to some the cards are clearly dealt in this case, and e.g. "top" gays do not fundamentally find themselves in the opposite role, these distinct sexual roles are not really that clear. Moreover, it is certainly not the case that whether someone is a "top" or a "bottom" is based on their physical constitution. Indeed, big, muscular, masculine-looking gay men are not necessarily just "top", whereas petite, thin-featured men, on the other hand, do not automatically make those characteristics the ones who will be "bottom".
Perhaps it is also clear from the above that, at least historically, the roles of "top" and "bottom" were certainly not equal - and the hierarchy was clearly established: those who are "top" stand (...or rather lie...) at the top of it, whereas those who are "bottom" are...well, at the bottom. In every conceivable sense of the word. And so it must be said that sexual preferences are certainly not immutable - it's just that power and dominance are linked to sexual roles is still a strong (albeit mistaken) belief.
Promiscuous gays...
Actually, it's not entirely incomprehensible: the media's portrayal of gays is quite seductive to the idea that they have clouds of sex. In clubs, in saunas, pretty much anywhere. Queer shows not infrequently adopt this narrative - and so actually contribute to its validation. In addition, there's also the famous Grindr, an app that many associate with simply finding one-off sex. But are gay men really "sex machines"?
Zdroj: Giphy
Well, there is some truth to the idea of sexually super-active gay men. Of course, one must consider in this context that for many years, when the visibility of gay love was forbidden, sex was the only possible expression of gay identity. Moreover, there is indeed data to suggest that gay men are more likely than heterosexuals to have experienced, for example, open relationships. But none of this universally implies that the only concern of gay men is when, where and with whom they have fun. Moreover - as experts point out - this "sex stereotype" harms gay people on two levels. In the first place, they are not infrequently actually considered very promiscuous in the eyes of the majority; in the second place, they face this pressure within their own community. Many gay men automatically feel they have to live up to this image - and if they don't, their perceived masculinity de facto suffers.
Bottom line, the heterosexual majority can form pretty quick conclusions based on their own perception of the world. This might not yet be such a tragedy (although it does give rise to many problematic stereotypes), but the problem is if gay men themselves end up "accepting" these beliefs. They then find themselves in a really difficult position: should they affirm the stereotypes in order to fulfil their expectations, or should they defy them, but perhaps also face ridicule "from within"? And so the path of least resistance seems to be the attempt to simply disrupt and shatter these myths and stereotypes...
