"Isn't that not enough?" We know how long "average sex" should last and how many times to have "average" sex
How long does sex last?
From the perspective of pop culture stories, it would seem that sex is an all-night affair. A night of passion and satisfaction. Magazines for women and men alike offer countless hints and tips on how to make sex last longer (perhaps if "all night" wasn't enough). And according to one survey of the American public, people would be happy if sex lasted half an hour. But the real data paint a very different picture of the duration of that "act of love" - and it's in the order of MINUTES. Now you are also asking yourself, "Isn't that not enough?"
If we should start with specific numbers, in the case of vaginal sex (and we mean actual intercourse, nothing else), the average length is given as 3-7 minutes. This then leads to another sub-observation: two minutes is simply not enough. But if sex lasts 10-30 minutes, that's "too much" for a change. According to sex therapists, however, it is desirable for sex to last 7-13 minutes. This time limitation, however, comes from the understanding of sex as ending with a male climax (so it may already be clear that it's not that simple with the average length of sex again...). But if the climax of all parties involved is taken into account (yes, the woman should also reach orgasm), the hands of the clock move forward. Specifically, according to one of the few studies on the topic of women's climax, it takes 13.5 minutes for them to orgasm. Which is therefore, in the prism of previous data, "too long". Moreover, the time it takes to climax (for both men and women) also increases with age - as a number of new factors gradually come into play, from reduced libido to erection problems. And if you're wondering about the data on the average length of gay sex, it doesn't exist yet. In fact, gay sex and gay men's satisfaction is an even more overlooked topic than women's climaxes...
In sum, though, there is ultimately a clear answer to the question: "how long does the average sex last" doesn't really exist. However, what should be more important than what the statistics are currently saying is what your counterpart is saying. Ask. Is he/she satisfied with the length of sex? Then all is well - even if by chance the statistical averages don't match your actions. Not satisfied? Even then, it doesn't matter what the stats say - you'll just have to work on changing it.
How often to have sex?
If we start from the premise that sex and its frequency also contribute to feelings of satisfaction and happiness in a partner's life, some might assume that it is necessary to indulge in sexual pleasures practically every day. But the opposite is true. In fact, the happiest couples usually have sex once a week, which is said to be "just right". Couples who have sex more often are also happy, but certainly no more so than those who have sex once a week. And what about those who don't meet that "standard"? Well, they feel less satisfied.
Those who are relatively sexually powerful, however, are gay men. At least according to available findings, as many as 13% of gay men enjoy anal sex every day, 39% several times a week and 24% a few times a month. And a survey conducted in Britain suggests that 58% of gay men are unfaithful to their partners - but of those gay men, 45% admit that their counterparts have found out. But while it might seem that gay men are therefore more likely to enjoy themselves compared to heterosexual men, a recent study has documented that in terms of frequency, gay and straight men are very similar. And they don't differ significantly in terms of sexual satisfaction either. Simply put, one is not a Duracell bunny, regardless of orientation. So even sexual performance has its limits. The main thing is not to succumb to what is commonly presented as the "norm" by the media or "friends over a beer".
When perceptions don't match reality
According to Logan Levkoff, who is an expert on human sexuality, people tend to have a lot of completely unrealistic expectations about what relationships, even sexually, should look like. "Our fictional fairy tale model many times does not in any way correspond to our lives and their reality," he summarized, adding that "normal frequency of sex" also basically does not exist. "Normal is whatever works for you and your partner. Communication plays a key role in making both parties feel comfortable," he added. And basically, that and only that could be considered a universal "yardstick" for what is "standard." Indeed, everyone should create a standard with his or her counterpart, regardless of what anyone else around them says.
