"Tame your overstuffed wardrobe! This small step can support a bigger life change," says the author of The Healing Cleanse
Taking care of order is often presented as a woman's business. And it's true that women are much more likely to experience euphoric states in a freshly cleaned space, while men often don't even notice the change. Is cleaning and tidiness a topic for men too?
I'm trying to fight the stereotype that how a home looks is a woman's calling card. This is a survival that exhausts women and leads to burnout. Within families and relationships, it can be responsible for problems that can result in arguments or even breakups. The state of our affairs is such an everyday part of life that if only one person is responsible for it, it comes under enormous pressure. That's why it's important that everyone in the household is involved in cleaning. It's not just one person's responsibility, cleaning is shared between several people and the household then functions as an organism. Of course, it is important to involve not only the partners but also the children.
In many households it is the case that one person spreads the chaos and the other person comes in and cleans up...
The dynamics in relationships are different. The solution lies in open communication, where the more orderly person openly says what he or she needs, but at the same time tries not to reproach and dogmatically push. And the less orderly one tries to accept some changes within the everyday. We all have a slightly different set of how we feel comfortable in the way things are arranged.
In your new book, The Healing Cleanse, you describe how to achieve domestic and life well-being. How does organizing my clothes in my closet and throwing out old stuff from my pantry help me to have more overall life satisfaction?
Many of us live with objects in our homes that tell old stories - of adjustment, of hurt, of suppressed authenticity. Healing Cleaning is an opportunity to release and rewrite these stories. We clean not only things, but also the traces within us that keep us from living fully.
For many queer people, for example, home can be a place of relief and pain, where they can either be themselves or, conversely, have to hide their truth. Putting things right is not just a purely practical task, but can also become a deeply symbolic act: making space for one's own identity, healing inner wounds, and building a space that finally belongs to them and them alone.
When one is overwhelmed by one's stuff, it is perhaps the hardest thing to decide how to even begin.
In Healing Cleaning, I try to motivate people to approach it in a project-based way. To stop before they start something and get clear on what should be present in their life and home. I advise them to take a pencil and paper and write out a few points of what they would like to achieve. What their ideal life would look like at work and at home. This way they don't rush headlong into some cleaning and sorting, but think about what style they would like to achieve at home, what their favourite colours are... This is how they plant the first seeds of their new reality. And then, when they start sorting out their wardrobe, for example, they will be in touch with themselves, aware of what describes them and what is really important to them.
So it's actually not just about getting rid of unnecessary things, but about adopting a plan for our whole life. And cleaning the home is a means of getting that plan started.
That's right. In the process of getting rid of things, of going through them and touching them and deciding what to do with them, we become more competent. We become much more aware of what belongs in our lives and what we can let go of. And this is a skill that then carries over into other areas of life. So really any person at any stage of life always benefits from getting things in order.
A lot of us carry with us the trauma of a mother who berates the other family members for their messiness, and cleaning the apartment over and over again, which brings her not satisfaction but frustration. How do we find the ideal level of tidiness so that we feel good at home, but don't completely destroy ourselves with perpetual cleaning?
In general, the most important thing is not to have a large number of things in the home, as this is the first prerequisite for chaos. We should start by sorting and minimizing and reach the optimal number of things for us. When they are well organized and have a designated place where we actually always return them, we are more likely to keep things tidy. When it comes to decluttering, I am a promoter of short daily cleanups that involve all members of the household. Alternatively, we even allow ourselves to delegate the cleaning to a paid service that comes in periodically and does a deeper clean. This is the strategy I use in a household with young children.
However, clutter is constantly forming at home. In Healing Cleaning, I work with something I call acceptance of the home as it is. It's about not striving for perfection, but accepting that the home is a reflection of us. That acceptance is not resignation at the state of things, but a springboard for action. As part of that acceptance, we can also accept that there is operational clutter in the home - not the deep clutter where there is a lot of stuff and chaos, but the clutter that arises naturally in occupation and operation. It doesn't have to look like a design catalogue in the home.
On social media and in the media we see beautiful photos of interiors that have one thing in common - there is no stuff lying on the surface, it's a completely tidy space. You love it, and then you look around your home and there are thousands of things lying around, because everyday life brings it that way. It's a great frustration that homes are presented in a completely different way to what they actually look like...
I'm trying to combat that. As a creative previously very active on Instagram, I first got on this professional bandwagon myself. But I was downright uncomfortable with it. First, I saw that my clients' homes looked vastly different. And secondly, I was struggling to maintain a space this tidy in my own home, with young children. And I absolutely burned out because it was too much. The Healing Cleaning project was actually born out of that experience. I realised that the pressures of today are immense, and if we bring them into our homes, which are supposed to be supportive environments for us, it is extremely toxic and damaging.
I was intrigued that you talk about the energy of the environment we live in in addition to the arrangement of things. How can I energetically clean up my apartment so that I feel good in it?
The energetic cleansing of a space is a very important part for me. We don't usually think about the intangible, the invisible in terms of cleaning. But it can be just the thing to lift the atmosphere of a home incredibly. There can be energetic deposits in the home from the original inhabitants - situations that have taken place there. People describe that they have a harder time relaxing or even sleeping there. It's similar to eating off a dirty plate or wearing unwashed clothes that someone else has worn before.
It's very easy to deal with. One of the basic types of cleansing that comes from our Czech tradition is the salt cleansing. It is said to have been used by our great-great-grandmothers. You place salt, ideally Himalayan or sea salt these days, in the corner of the room for about 48 hours and it does the cleansing work for us. And for those who are open to it, I would recommend working with incense burners and other harmonizing tools. Surprisingly, it's a very good way to get a household started on change.
What are the reactions from your clients? After all, in today's materialistic world, it sounds a bit charlatan...
I recommend this particular salt even to very grounded people for whom the fumigant is a bit too esoteric. The reactions are incredibly positive and often surprising. People really notice that they sleep better, that children or pets have calmed down.
So if there's a big argument at home, is it worth airing out afterwards?
Absolutely. And not just air it out. I recommend, if possible, to light a heater and cleanse the room and yourself. It doesn't require anything complicated. Just burn the fireplace. The cleansing effect is great.
I'm noticing a trend of videos on social media in which cleaning companies show the results of their work in very messy apartments. Practical tips for home cleaning are also popular. Is the condition of the place we inhabit becoming more important than before?
Nowadays, there is a big trend towards home improvement. A new profession has even emerged called the professional organizer. It is not about cleaning up the dirt, but about organising the home, minimising the number of things.
I'm not a fan of having a team of people run in somewhere and do all the work for the person who needs to organize things. Because that doesn't create any shift or awareness in that person - and that's very important to me in Healing Cleaning.
At the same time, we have to differentiate. As far as hoarders and people with severe mental health problems whose flats are in a really deplorable state, that's where professional help has its place.
What does the average client come to you with? What do they need help with?
I basically have two kinds of clients, so far I've only worked with one man. One is busy and they like to hire a professional because they'll be quicker to sort things out and get rid of them more efficiently.
And the other type are women who have a mental block when it comes to order. They need support because they often watch different shows and inspirations on social media and the difference between what it looks like on the show and what it looks like in their home is just huge. Therefore, they are stuck and cannot take any action on their own to bring their household closer to the ideal state they desire.
What do you think is the main function that a home should fulfill?
Ideally, the home should be an environment where we relax, recharge our batteries and feel at ease. By getting rid of all the unnecessary stuff, incorporating regular cleaning and dividing up tasks, our home can become a very supportive environment where everyone feels comfortable. And that is the ultimate goal in today's performance-perfectionist age.
